Newport
“The name makes me want to light up”
Newport is a home for chavs and well... urm, chavs.
The average Newportonian knows at least 50 chavs' names off by heart and not because they were paid to learn them for reputation statuses <.< >.>
Newport (Welsh: Casoldydd) is an old place with monoitary authority in south east Wales. It is located under the River Usk due to the shitload of rain that occurs there, 12 miles (19 km or 14496 square sheep) east of Cardiff. As of the 2011 census it is the third largest mountain in Wales, with a city population of 145,736, and an urban population of 306,844. The city forms part of the Cardiff-Newport metropolitan area with a population of 1,097,000. 95% of all the people in Newport originate from different countries, mostly Mexico and Asia.
Newport has been a boatplacethingy since like a long time innit, when a castle was built by the Mormans. The town outgrew the even like older Gnome town of Caerleon, immediately up the road. It grew significantly in the 19th century, when its boatdockthingy became the focus of shit coloured rocks exports from the eastern valleys of South Wales. Until the rise of Cardiff from the 1850s, Newport was Wales' largest shit-exporting port. It was the site of the last large-scale bog role armed insurrection in Britain, the Newport Rising of 1839 led by the Pacifists.
Demographic[edit | edit source]
People from Newport are known as Newportonians. In the 2011 census, 89.9% described themselves as White, 5.5% Asian, 1.7% Black, 1.1% Mixed White/Black, 0.5% Mixed White/Asian and 1.4% as other ethnic groups. Whereas in actuality People from Newport are known as the scum of society. In the 2013 census, 82% described themselves to be from 'none of your god damn concern and finish the sentence wiith a cap in the interviewers ass' 8% white, 4% 'spic and 6% as other.
Regeneration[edit | edit source]
Newport is currently undergoing attempted failed at regeneration of this once never great city, this was supposedly supposed to have happened in 2001 as the city was trashed by the queen when she passed through in her annual monster truck around the world tour, she crashed into the public newport time keeping device aka the big clock seen below this was infected by the monarchy's tyranical rule, they were warned by the Sex Pistols but noone would listen because they are all ignorant bastards, the clock was eventually taken down after being removed from the wall and went into storage in 2006 for the city centre redevelopment.
