Newt Gingrich diagnosed with rectal crainial inversion.

Rectal Crainial inversion is a ocupational hazzard suffered by pollititions throughout time. Is is thought to be caused by running around in public speaking very highly of yourself. The part of the brain called the Ego begins to swell causing the condition. Symptoms can include deafness, blindness, and an unusual growth of the outer skull. Eventually the victom will begin to utter strange things which are hard to understand. The only cure is retirement from politics, or to move to a small island with all your followers and then offer then some really good koolaid to drink.

This article is burly men unfolding umbrellas.   Maybe you should help it on its way.