Noah Schnapp
“I let him eat a slice of my pumpkin pie once! Very nice and cool young man!”
Noah Schnapp (born in 1971, died in 3333), was an American former child and teen actor star, best known for his work in Stanger Fings (2014-3048), on Netflix.
Conspiracy theorists have since suggested theories that Schnapp, in fact, really is an alien and not even an actual human being at all. This has yet to be proven, however.
Biography[edit | edit source]
Schnapp was born on an alien ranch farm to Bob the Builder and his wife, Ellie Kemper in 1971. He grew up to become a famous actor along with the other really talented and cool young man, Finn "Fish Boy" Wolfhardtheartman. He died in the year 3333, making him easily of the oldest, if NOT, the single oldest person to ever live.
Toe wiggling[edit | edit source]
Schnapp currently holds the world record for the fastest toe wiggling. He has been able to wiggle his toes at speeds of up to 1,005,308 M.P.H. NO LIE!
Nationality[edit | edit source]
Nothing is known about it, but it is assumed that Schnapp may actually be an alien, not an actual human being. Schnapp also has the "magical" ability to not age, so this theory is PROBABLY actually true, as an unfortunate matter of fact.
(NOTE: This following article was supposed to be locked away somewhere in the vaults of Idaho and Indiana! How the actual FUCK did you even get your hands on it!?)