One day at McDonalds

From Illogicopedia
Jump to navigation Jump to search

This is a work of semi-fictitous-non-fictional-mostly-fictitious–non-fiction. All fictitous characters fictitiously represented herein are most likely fictitious. Fankoo.

Chapter 1[edit | edit source]

This picture has absolutely NOTHING to do with this story.

Ben Walter was a normal person, like everyone else. He ate food like everyone else, breathed air like everyone else, and worked in a McDonalds like everyone else (except for all the people who worked in Kmart). However, the McDonalds Ben worked in was not just ANY McDonalds. No, no it wasn't. This McDonalds - was a Kmart.

However, it looked like a McDonalds and served everything a McDonalds would, so it was kind of hard to tell.

Chapter 2[edit | edit source]

One ordinary, sunny day, Ben was working at the McDonalds, serving some McDeepfriedChips and some McDeepFriedFakeTastingMilkshake and some McDeepFriedShrivelledLettuceWeCallASalad, like every day. It had been like this for many years, the same old routine, a cycle that never seemed to end. Ben was daydreaming about McGettingAPromotion, when suddenly, a McPerson, I mean a person, walked up. Now, this person was completely normal. Completely normal. So normal, in fact, that he was complete. He was so completely normal, in fact, that he was completely normal completely. So completely normal that I should just shut up now and get on with the story.

Ben put on his best smile, like his McBoss had told him. “What would you like, sir?” said Ben to the completely normal person.

“Some water, please," the person said in a low voice. His eyes were dark.

“You mean, some McDeepFriedChemicallyAlteredGermRiddernWater?” Ben responded.

“No,” the person said. “I WANT YOUR SOUL!!” And the completely normal person leapt forward, claws outstretched, shrieking. (See, I told you they were completely normal).

Chapter 3[edit | edit source]

Ben reached down quickly, and grabbed his McShotgun from under the McCounter and McPointed it. He pulled the trigger.

“MCBANG!” the shotgun went.

However, the shot went wild, missed the person, and hit two clowns instead, gore flying everywhere.


“MCHOORAY!” everyone yelled.

But the completely normal person’s completely normal claws hit Ben and he went flying through the air, the shotgun hit from his hand.

Chapter 4[edit | edit source]

This picture, however, is noodlestix candle-munching banana softener fabrication. Poodles.

Ben hit the nearby wall with a sickening crack that sickened many of the nearby people. Or maybe that was just the McDeepFriedChips. They were pretty sickening.

Ben groaned as the completely normal person approached him. Around him, the other McDonalds workers fled. Ben looked up at the person.

“Why?” he moaned. "Why me?"

The person stopped and stared deep in Ben's eyes. “You see Ben... I am your father.”

Time seemed to stop for Ben. Everything went silent at his chest tightened. He couldn't breathe. "No..." groaned Ben. He raised his voice. "No! You're not! You're not my father!!"

"Oh," said the person, a bit taken back. "Well, uh... ok then."

And he left.

And Ben lived happily ever afterwards.

The McEnd

Epilogue[edit | edit source]

What's an epilogue?