Ouija

Once upon a time there was a small bird, who loved flying. Everyday he would fly for miles and miles just to feel free, though he would always come back. For you see, this bird had a family. He had a wife, and three and a half children, and he loved them very much. Life was good for these birds, until one fateful day. The bird came home from a flight, and slammed the door shut with panic in his eyes. He looked at his wife and said frantically "Grab the kids, we're leaving. Now!" She looked at him confused. He screamed with tears approaching "Please! We don't have much time!" The wife finally, snapped from her confused stupor and grabbed the children, as they complained and asked questions. The bird and his family were escaping their home when, "BANG!" A shot rings out and a hole appears in the birds chest. The family is mortified, and begin to weep in unison. They carried on their miserable lives never knowing love again. The morale of the story is YOU DON'T FUCK WITH THE BIRD MAFIA.