Particle physicists

Particle Physicist, Particle Physicist,

Does whatever a particle physicist does.

Elaboration on just what exactly, a particle physicist does

Particle physicists make particles go really really fast and then crash into each other and look at the pretty colors they make. But instead of just enjoying the pretty colors, they do boring mathematics to figure out what all the pretty colors mean. Therefore, particle physicists make particles go really really fast and then crash into each other, look at the pretty colors they make, and do boring mathematics to figure out what all the pretty colors mean.

Few understand the true spiritual purpose of this (hint: it's occult).

Another project particle physicists work on is opening the gates to hell. Outside of work, they enjoy sacrificing female colleagues to Lord Shiva. Can you believe there are microbiologists and plant molecular biologists who call themselves scientists whose idea of a good time is going to bars?

Things particle physicists don't do

• Release all the rabbits and chase them around the lab
• Formulate an accurate Grand Unified Theory
• Turn their butts into flamethrowers
• Know how to spell physyci phisicys phiscys the name of their profession