From Illogicopedia
Jump to navigation Jump to search
I am practically overflowing with desire.

A pear is a type of weapon designed by George Jetson and it is used to strip varnish off the walls of flophouses. They are fashioned out of used soda cans and the hair of the back of a stray cat.

History[edit | edit source]

Developed in the deepest, most unlivable sections of New Mexico, the pear was originally designed by George Jetson to give him something to do while his wife rolled pennies with Jack The Ripper in abandoned elementary schools. The first prototype resulted in him blowing off both of his thumbs and losing all of his beer goggles in a deadly forest fire.

Future tests proved to be more successful, resulting in only impotency and loss of eyebrows. Of course having a too smooth face and a nonfunctioning penis is no way to live, so many suicides were spawned by the pear. Lawsuits followed, lawyers were notified, and Jetson was charged with the crime of mass murder against fans of fruit everywhere.

Jetson ended up forcing everyone in the court to eat his pears, and escaped. His whereabouts are currently unknown, though the company Pear showed up making cheap knock-offs of the iStuff, which is owned by Apple. The company leader looks just like Jetson, just with no eyebrows and 15 nonfunctioning pens. Detectives have given up looking for Jetson, but rumors have gone about that the company leader is definitely not Jetson, who will kill anyone looking at this page right now.


Well, you're dead. Good job, and keep being illogical!

Sam and Max makes holes in teeth[edit | edit source]

A favorite among dentists, the pear is used as a painkiller during root canals. It also leaves mouths with a sweet, minty taste akin to smoking a box of carpet sanitizer. Chunks of pears can also be stuffed into cavities.

See also[edit | edit source]