Press Push To Pull

This article is burly men unfolding umbrellas.   Maybe you should help it on its way.

Press Push To Pull is an ancient martial art based on only one single movement. A super secret potentially lethal movement. It's origins are shrouded in myth; some attribute it's beginnings to Pharoah Ramses as a means to defend against incursions by grumpy nonagenarians, others to Hammurabi during an opium dream. Either way, it is an extremely select and esteemed number of people, picked by a Master who is replaced every 6 years by ordeal of possum jerky.