Read:
“I once thought of a sarcastic word and thought nobody would get the sarcasm. Then a car ran over my duck and I gained sense.”
“The person who wrote this page is a genius (Read: Idiot)”
Read this[edit | edit source]
Actually, no.[edit | edit source]
Go, leave me to be insane[edit | edit source]
Go.[edit | edit source]
GO[edit | edit source]
LEAVE[edit | edit source]
Click the Random Button before you become a terrible person.[edit | edit source]
Alright, Fine. Watch me bleed.[edit | edit source]
I didn't want to, but I ended up anyways. It wasn't a conscious decision, it was more of a mind game. Forcing myself to read the footnotes. I also didn't want to write this intoduction. To me, a self referencial phrase wasn't going to help my life. Why did He make me? When I started to read the comments, I was finding myself hurting innocent children with the incessant mumblings inside my head, saying to forcibly hit them. Not hard, mind you, but more of a soft, light, kiss of my fist. My fist wasn't meant to do that. But it did, because I decided to read, forcibly and incessantly, the footnotes at the bottom of the page. This page is not even. Not even Not even. When I read it, I didn't feel anything. Love, no. Hate, no. I was nothing. Nothing at all. Not even that feeling you get when you open a jar of Motrin® that you're about to drink. It was just nope.
As soon as I noticed the sarcasm I could sense the time-space continuum ripping into two. The idiocy of just not changing the word astounded me. But to parody this was an idiotic mistake. But I was already doing it. My fingers were moving. My brain flying faster than the thoughts that were going through my head. To the keyboard. Why did I read that. It was painful. This is gibberish. High comedy indeed. The internet doesn't have standards. Whatever standards they had were taken down by extreme idiocy of this person I saw writing "(Read:)" I don't even remember his name. Maybe it was Kikiri400 (No, that's not it). I want to bash my head on the keyboard and weep for civilization. But I forgot civilization and left. Butter. I needed butter. Not even that would help me. No butter in the fridge or the bananas or the hors d'vores
Freaking Bananas dying. Does anyone read the stickers?
The letter z. I don't read it.
What have I done with my life?
While reading, be sure to keep your hands and legs inside the vehicle. What vehicle? I dunno.
You'll die someday. Nobody will read your tombstone.
Footnotes[edit | edit source]
- ↑ Read: I (Read: The (Read: Any) person (Read:(Read: Don't (Read: Do (Read: Don't) Read)You) (Read: The (Read: An unlikely) reader) should (Read: Gratefully Accept)read this before reading) who (Read: one (Read: A single (Read: Married(Read: Totally (Read: Absolutely(Read: Increasingly) not) Single (Read: Married))) person) of those (Read: Idiotic(Read: Lovely)) who(Read: One of (Read: Two (Read: Three(Read: Four(Read: Five (Read: One))))) of) whom) read this article) Read (Read:(Please (Read: Impatience (Read: Terror(Read: Pacif)ists) requires (Read: is (Read: Are (Read: R(Read: ARRRRR(Read: Are)))) forcing (Read: Holding (Read: Cuddling) me (Read: The (Read: A(Read: B)) writer (Read:(Read: Sarcasm) Idiot)) hostage(Read: Very Nicely (Read: HELP))) me (Read: Just forget (Read: Don't(Read:Anything (Read: Nothing) you(Read: The (Read: ERROR(Read: Joke(Read: The))) Reader(Read: internet (Read: Time wasting)surfer (Read: Rad, Brah))) want(Read: Need) can (Read: Can Not) be (Read: Exist) had (Read: Rad (Read: Radical (Dude)))) if (Read: only if) you just) forget(Read: Remember)) the "me" (Read: The word me))) me to(Read: Two (Read: Without (Read: Ignore) the W)) tell (Read: Forcibly (Read: Don't (Read: Consider (Read: Read)) consider (Read: recognize) reading)(Read: Consentually) violate) you) don't read) Read). He (Read: A person (Read: Stranger (Read: Pineapples (Read: Just (Read: Unjustly (Read: Injustly(Read:Anjustly)) just) Regular (Read: Human (Read: Alien(Read:ILLUMINATI)) sized) apples (Read: Humans))you don't (Read: Do(Read: Don't, (Read: Do(Read: Don't)) but want (Read: Are going (Read: Coming) to) to)) know) whom (Read: Everyone) you(Read:(Read: Don't (Read: Do (Read: Don't) Read)You (Read: Ignore)) refer (Read: make (Read: Un(Read: Ignore)make) read(Read: Force(Read: Go all (Read: Be at) Obi-wan (Read: Go Jedi on)that)(Read: Annoy)) to this (Read: Said(Read: THIS)article) Read (Read: Pineapple). (Read: I'm (Read: I) an (Read: Could (Read: Am (Read:(Read: Idiotic (Read: Non-idiotic) sarcasm(Read: Idiotic (Read: Totally Parody)) America's (Read: Am)) absolutely (Read: (Read: Don't read (Read:Just stop reading)) Infinitively) not(Read: knot(Read: Not knot (Read: (Read: ) Rope), but (Read (Read: Read): Not) not))) possibly (Read: essentially) idiot.)