Salad wishes

make a wish

He whispered in my ear

Now naturally I'd come up with something cool. Like... a jetpack, or true love, or a signed football by Jengus Kahn.

But something in my gullet made me belt out, "SALAD! ALL THE SALAD!"

And just like that everything around my was gone. I was in a sea of arugula, lettuce, spinach, and all sortsa leafy greens. My salivary glands started busting with fountains of saliva. There was just so much salad I couldn't even contain myself. So I shit my pants. But all that came out was salad. I put my hands down my pants and found a handful of cucumbers and carrots soaked in ranch. Rejoicing, I ate my own shit which was actually just salad. This was the best day of my life. Like how often do you get to just like yeah. have all the salad that is or ever has been. Just then I realized that I was sinking into the sea of salad. I couldn't climb up to the top, the vegetables just couldn't hold my weight. And before long I couldn't see the light. Just dark damp leafiness surrounded me. I was beginning to suffocate but it was cool cause there was so much salad.

Did I mention how much salad there was?

Like more than you could ever even imagine.

So I frantically flailed trying to get back to the surface, and that was when I realized I couldn't even tell which way was up. Maybe I was just digging deeper. And that's when I started to hear the voices.

"Hark, Beckoner," they said, "We reckon the second is wet."

"It isn't!" I shouted.

They didn't reply.