Salvador Dali Parton and The History of Dadaism
I’m honored to be writing about these dadaist luminaries. The most influential artists in the movement were Dr. Doom, Noam Duchomsky, Salvador Dali Parton, and Manuel Di Fumetti. It all started when they brought dada back to Moscow, where what is considered to be the most significant period of dadaist art blossomed. One piece from the Russian dada period, titled “Smells like Duchamp’s Toilet Spirit” sold for over 0.0008 bitcoin at a Bob Ross’ auction that was held deep inside of the catacombs. The aforementioned geniuses argued among themselves about who originally painted the artwork. They were unsure considering the technique had been copied so many times, all the pieces were nearly impossible to differentiate. They decided to settle the conflict and work towards the common goal of keeping the Dada movement strong. The movement was regularly stigmatized because of record high yearly toilet deaths after the release of the work. They wanted to make their art accessible, but not give up their dignity as artists. Their techniques were taboo and radical to the mainstream audience.
As a last resort, they called “The 24/7 Crisis Hotline for Avant-Garde Burnouts and Alien Abductions” The minute they called, they felt so at home. The second they heard the elevator music made of sound poetry while on hold they knew that came to the right place.
Their Crisis Counselor was an extremely kind young man named Genghis Khan. Di Fumetti thought he would be great guidance to him and the others. Khan had this “rags to riches” type story from his past. When he was young, he had to work a “9 to 5 job” as a dental floss salesman as early as the age of 3. Salvador Dali Parton had an idea to make a piece dedicated to the hardships of Khan as a child. He even suggested having a more accessible theme song that is called “9 to 5” that would accompany it. Everyone enthusiastically agreed to the idea. Khan cried tears of joy about Dali's proposal, that were later used as a paint. If you want to capture true emotion into your work, you must use physical tears. After months of unrelenting labor, the piece was finally completed. They wished eachother farewell and had this awkward irrational group hug. They felt really satisfied with their work and they stopped caring about expanding the movement. INSTEAD EXPANDING THEIR FRIENDSHIP! Dr. Doom had wandered off earlier without them noticing, but their new bond was unbreakable.
Genghis Khan was eager to open his heartfelt gift. It took Khan a year to decipher any meaning from his gift. The kind messages for him were written in cut up poetry, the words were an obscure language only ducks can understand, and a collage made of dental floss. He was so glad he got that free “duck translating app” on his iPhone. He then had to read the whole thing backwards. Then, he had to go to his local Starbucks to get yet another code, that only clerks there can read, put it under specific lighting that would reveal the message, and then was infuriated to know it was all utter nonsense!!! It’s the thought that matters, if they had any coherent thoughts.
Everything turned out as you would expect in the best way possible. Salvador Dali Parton had a great music career ahead of him after he was discovered by Jolene Chumbawamba and signed on to her record label. The record deal was a scam, he couldn't read the fine print because he only knew how to read cut up poetry. Dali was stuck in a rigid contract, and ranted about Jolene for hours. Duchomsky was loyal to his friend and committed second degree murder. Di Fumetti died of liver failure after inserting poetry inside of his stomach to make a vague artistic statement.
The End -Zazie Productions ph.D. in Art History