Sneakernet

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Sneakernet is a layered, abstract description for communications and computer network protocol design that has been proposed as a viable alternative to the OSI Model.

The model is based on the assumptions that:

  1. Computer networks suck.
  2. Computer networks are so slow that it would be faster to just physically carry the information around.
  3. Computer networks suck.
  4. Computer networks crash so often that it would be faster to just physically carry the information around.
  5. Computer networks suck.
  6. Computer networks still suck.

Layers of Sneakernet[edit | edit source]

Layer 7: Application layer[edit | edit source]

Some n00b accountant, receptionist or sexratary (whatever) creates some computer file(s) in Microsoft Office that need to be sent to someone on the other side of the building.

Layer 6: Presentation layer[edit | edit source]

The n00b office worker calls the leet flunky whose job it is to solve the office's comptuer problems.

"How do I send this to Debra?" the n00b asks.

The n00b presents the file to the leet flunky.

Layer 5: Session layer Media Layer[edit | edit source]

The leet flunky must select from a variety of different media for carrying the information. These options include:

  1. Printing the information on physical paper if there is a printer nearby.
  2. If the information is less than 1.44 MB, a floppy disk might work.
  3. If the information is less than 700 MB and is unlikely to be changed often, a blank CD mihht be used.
  4. If the information will fit on a DVD then, um, that might work too.
  5. The most popular option: USB flash memory thumb drives are the best.
  6. Try removing the entire hard drive.
  7. If all else fails, just bring the whole computer with you.

Layer 4: Data Link layer[edit | edit source]

If working with computer files, the leet flunky must select the files to copy and click on the word "Copy" and then goto where they're being sent and click "Paste" then wait for the file transfer to happen.

If working with paper files, the flunky can skip this step.

Layer 3: Network layer[edit | edit source]

There is no network layer! THAT'S THE WHOLE POINT!

Layer 2: Transport layer[edit | edit source]

The flunky must physically carry whatever was selected in Layer 3.

Layer 1: Physical layer[edit | edit source]

The flunky must give what (s)he is carrying to Debra.

YAY UR DONE NOW!!