Spanish Flu

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We have no reason to believe that this is Benjamin Octavius Woodlescombe-Barnsworthy

Benjamin Octavius Woodlescombe-Barnsworthy (known by the stage name Spanish Flu) was a Swedish multi-instrumentalist and semi-professional TV chef. He gained infamy when in 1918 he caused the first outbreak of type-3 diabetes among soldiers returning from the First World Series of Snooker.

Early Life[edit]

Benjamin Octavius Woodlescombe-Barnsworthy (Who I will now refer to as Simon for my benefit) was born in the Swedish region of Swederland, Europe. His parents were o̶v̶e̶r̶w̶e̶i̶g̶h̶t̶ ̶a̶n̶d̶ ̶u̶n̶a̶t̶t̶r̶a̶c̶t̶i̶v̶e̶ also Swedish. When he was 13, he was diagnosed with a heavily-contagious strain of type-3 diabetes, which shortened his life expectancy from likely to unlikely. At the age of 26 and a half Simon gained employment in the TV-cheffing sector, leading to the incident of 1918.

The Incident Of 1918[edit]

On the 13th of d̶i̶s̶m̶e̶m̶b̶e̶r̶ December 1918, many Swedes of the Swederland mysteriously contracted type-3 diabetes after following recipes from Simon's cooking show, Coping With Cancer - The Long Struggle, leading to Simon's arrest. After several post-mortem examinations of various television sets, it was discovered that Simon's heavily-contagious type-3 diabetes had spread through the television sets and into the viewers. Subsequently, Simon was released without charge.