Stench -- Breakfast of Retroverts!
Now in three amazing flavors!
Old original Ancient Stench!
New super duper Overpowering Stench!
And our even better Incredible Stench!
And soon to be available Stench that'll Knock Your Socks Off!
All with Healthful Additives to Start Your Day Off Right -- additives like Butyric Acid!
And crystalized Hydrogen Sulfide!
And now, for the truly discriminating among you, exclusively in Stench that'll Knock your Socks Off!, we'll be offering Essence of Cadaverine!
Well, seriously ... why not?
- After a heaping bowl of Stench first thing in the morning, you'll be wide awake, even if you forgot to buy coffee again!
- Do you have trouble with your roommates eating your breakfast cereal and leaving the empty boxes in the cupboard? Once they find out you're having Stench for breakfast, that will never happen again!
- Do you often find the milk has expired, and there's nothing to put on your cereal? If you're eating Stench for breakfast, that won't be a problem! You can just go ahead and use the expired milk, and you'll never notice the difference!
- Does your dog sometimes chase a skunk, and then come home smelling like a failed experiment at a sewage refinery? Just pour a bowl of Stench over him, and it'll cover that skunky odor perfectly!
- Is your Venus flytrap looking thin and wan? It probably needs more flies. And with Stench in the house, catching flies is a snap -- just put some Stench in a jar, cover the top with cardboard, punch a small (fly-sized) hole in the top, and before you can say "OMG I think I'm going to barf" it'll be full to the brim with flies -- they just can't resist our Stench!