Susej

Susej was a hero

Susej was a god

He inhaled some queef

And kicked the ass of Salzashod

Origins

So goes the ancient rhyme... Susej was and is a religious figure of the sixth dimension, where tradition has spilled into the fifth dimension, then further down into the fourth, and recently into the third. The first mention of Susej in the third dimension was on some idiot redneck's outhouse wall, which had recently been vandalized by numerous Slogjorzian teenager aliens who had gone to the sixth dimension, had gotten stoned on sand (their alcohol, basically), and laser etched the rhyme on that fateful day in 1998.

Other mentions of Sesuj have appeared randomly and inexplicably on condoms, written on 1 dollar American notes, in an anarchist bookshop's stickers, on Christmas cards, beer glasses, bald people's heads, used electric guitars, a Scofield Bible, a copy of Dianetics, a copy of the Joy of Cooking, road signs, burned on a piece of Kobe beef, toasted on toast, and in the Empire State Building's lobby.

WHO THE FUCK IS HE THIS IS INSANE I MEAN REALLY HOLY SHIT IT'S CREEPING ME OUT MAN!!!

Whoever wrote this heading, I will punch you afterwards for using caps lock and fire you from writing this hoax and-

Wait, this is a hoax?

What are you, brain-dead? Yeah! Everything on this damn page is fake! Sesuj is Jesus backwards! Why do you trust everything you read on the Internet? This whole page is ruined! WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!

In conclusion: eggs.