Ted Kaufman
Ted Kaufman (D) is a political Juggernaut with a face that only a mother could love. He was appointed to the U.S. Senate in Delaware in 2009, taking the seat that Joe Biden left behind and giving many creepy smiles to people along the way.
Appearance[edit | edit source]
Kaufman claims to be an Irish Roman-Catholic, but anyone with an eye for Jews can see that Kaufman is Jewish. His balding, curly, short-cropped Jewfro and his bony, Jew-like fingers are all evidence of his malevolent Jewry.
Politix[edit | edit source]
He did sum stuff.
Personal life[edit | edit source]
He married this stupid chick that he's cheating on right now, he has some kids, he probably is a closet homosexual, he never told a lie, the Teddy bear is named after him, he once chopped down a cherry tree outside of the log cabin he grew up in in Kenya, and his teeth are made of wool.
Not that anyone cares, but Ted was also in the Boy Scouts where he had his first sexual experience with an Eagle Scout named Toni. They went into the bathroom while everyone else was working on making birdhouses and fucked. Ted went down on Toni, Toni went down on Ted. Toni fucked Ted in the ass, switching positions very regularly. He wanted to see Ted's expression as he fucked him.
Fin.
THIS SPACE FOR RENT.