Telephone book
“So that's why I keep getting a busy signal... the phone is READING!”
Telephone books are the books of the telephones. Telephones read them in their spare time, when they are not eating soup or smelling ostriches. They also smell soup and eat ostriches. This causes much conflict, as one wants to eat a pickle, but the other doesn't.
The advent of telephone books has caused a spike in the literacy of modern-day telephones and a drop in ostrich smelling. While most telephone politicians agree that the literacy of young telephones is a most-important goal, many in the telephone business community are in uproar over the losses in jobs in the ostrich-smelling sector due to the demographic changes.
Still, the soups and pickles are conflicted because they are two foods and have no say in the matter. Speaking of foods, are you going to finish that pudding?... Nah, I don't think you're going to finish that pudding. *eats pudding*
That's good pudding.