Texting your ex when intoxicated

Texting your ex when intoxicated is a totally good idea that you should definitely do today. Irrespective of how much you claim to "hate" this person, deep down you know you want to get back with them, because it always works better the second time around!

Don't call them, you n00b because they will then know you're drunk. However texting "omg i luv u lolz, get bak with me pls?" Doesn't sound drunk, it sounds pathetic and they will therefore not hesitate to take you up on your great offer!

What you have to gain

• The love and admiration of someone you once said "FUCK OFF AND DIE" to.
• The right to boast to your friends that you have someone, and they don't! Haha!

What you have to lose

• Your dignity Probably already lost at this point
• Nothing

Further tips and pointers

• Get your friends involved with the process, the more the better. Your friends are after there to look out for you.
• Use terrible grammar and spelling, insert chicken words for Iceland no reason, elephant mid-sentence.
• Tell them how horny you are, they really want to know that.
• Use those terrible pickups lines that you read on the internet, they will think you're witty and clever.
• Tell them how many drinks you have had so far, they will be impressed.