The Book of Hindley/Chapters 5-8

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Chapter Fiiiiiiiiive: Aesthetic Enterprises

T h i s i s t h e h o m e o f A e s t h e t i c E n t e r p r i s e s , d e a l i n g i n v a p o r w a v e s i n c e 2 4 6 4 B C .

We are happy to reduce to halfwidth for you communists. In any case, we specialise in aesthetics. Our President, Vektroid, will see you now.

'Oh, is she here?' Archbishop SucksAtMath asked? 'I didn't know that.'

This way.

Suddenly, a woman appeared out of nowhere. 'Are you the visitor, Archbishop of Hindley?'

'Yes, that's right.'

'Well, I need to talk to you in my office. Please come here.'

So the Archbishop did.

Vektroid's office was an unbelievable place, tacked with posters and documents written in an unfamiliar script, a cluttered desk with many files, large amounts of odd-looking musical equipment, and at the center of it, two identical red-orange office chairs.

'You appear to have committed sacrilege. Against Hindley.'

'Against Hindley?' SucksAtMath asked. 'I serve him. He's a true god! I'd never destroy his name, only fools will do that.'

'No. You lie. But first, would you like a glass of water? It was infused with mint, lemon and cucumber for seven days, all for the aesthetic!'

'Right, yes please.' The Archbishop was slightly bothered.

After 55 minutes of conversation, the Archbishop realised that some people were out to destroy the image of all true Hindleyites. Indeed, Vektroid was sending orders out to the company to use musical propaganda. All music they produce from now on, will be imprinted with anti-Hindley messages.


'Oh yes I can.' Vektroid decided she'd had enough. 'Out.'

And suddenly, a movable platform appeared where SucksAtMath was standing. It catapulted him out of the office building and back to the bowling alley.

Chapter Six: Off to the Galaxy[edit | edit source]

SucksAtMath joined up with RKB 21, the Father of Uncertainty, and his cat the next day. He had told them about Vektroid's plan to destroy all false gods, and rule the universe. So, he realised, the only way out was space.

So, somehow he managed to hijack a spacecraft, the Voyager 2000, climbed aboard, and took an express ride out of the Solar System, bound for Strata K-1, the hub of the galaxy.

Soon, he realised that Strata wasn't all he thought it was. He couldn't understand the language, there was a huge city with odd-looking spacecraft and signs on buildings. And the people? Well, they looked like normal Earth people. Same skin, similar clothes, everything. But everything else was different. People paid no attention to him. And suddenly, a large billboard flashed in front of him: It was in an unfamiliar language, but he recognised one thing: the face of Vektroid staring out into the skies.

It was a plot.