The Castle of Prod
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Deep in the forests of Devonshire there is a hidden secret: a hidden castle. It was once ruled by a man in armour who called himself Prod. This man Prod, he was a bit funny in the head, see? Yes and well... he never came out of his medieval armour. Ever. This meant that gradually he began to melt and turn into a sticky pink goo on the floor. I had to wipe it up with an elephants ass. Considering the size of the mess, I'm surprised I got through it alive.
Then, I went up.