The Illogicopedian Dealer

*sees you walking along the street*

Hey kid, over here.

You look like you could need a lil' something.

*pulls out a table from my back pocket*

Pick whatever you want.

Over here, we got some Jolly Ranchers, Skittles, Kit-Kat bars...

Right here, we got some Silly Bandz and packs of Pokémon cards...

If you want, you could get yourself a ball of purified air...

If you choose to have some dish soap, I got some over there...

You could choose to have the latest songs from singers 'round the world...

You could even have a giant Slinky that swirls and swirls and swirls...

You could own a Hypno-Ray that puts anyone in a trance...

You might need a giant disco ball that makes anyone dance...

You look like you're in dire need of a little dose of cats...

If you want to, you could even own 7-Eleven window glass...

Wait, where are you going? Don't you want some items?

They're the only ones I got, you'll never find any like 'em!

*puts table back in pocket*

Fine.. I'll go deal with someone else..