The Modern Declaration of Independence

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OMG! We r fre yeah!!!!11!!11!!!! We hld thſe Trths 2 b ſlf evdnt tht all M3n r crtd =. Im 2 lzy 2 mke teh Rſt.

Lolz, Georgio Waſhingtonizzle's Bodypopping!

Go!
Go!
Go Georgey, it's your Birthday!

*Craſh*

Oh Man, that's a ſerious Boo-boo. So you better watch out, Man!

I command thee:

  1. ...to ſhine my Shoes
  2. ... to ſmiteth when declared by me
  3. ... to readeth this when required