UC Santa Cruz

UC Santa Cruz (UC Smoking Cannabis).

Characteristics:

Weight: 2 kilos, but seems much lighter.

Type: Aztec Gold Label Reefer

Shape: roughly cubical.

Composition: a mysterious silvery metal.

Intelligence: 420 (buns)

History

UC Santa Cruz was found under the face of a retreating glacier during the Golden Age of Marijuana. When humans touch it, they are able to see distant things very clearly, and read the minds of others. With these visions come others - some of things long past, some of things that are yet to be - but these visions are unclear and disturbing. Frequent contact with Santa Cruz extends life far beyond its natural span, but also leaves one with unbearable longings, as if for a world that no longer exists.

Student Life

Hippies leftover from University of California Berkeley's selection process often migrate to Santa Cruz in order to fulfill their dreams of becoming the next great marijuana soldier in the never ending fight against the man. The few that are able to successfully answer the bridge troll's riddles at the exit to gay mecca usually end up getting too high to remember why they left the 711 in the first place.

Frequently habited by Trustafarians from So Cal, Santa Cruz has become a Mecca for young adults with nothing better to do than to smoke marijuana and play ultimate frisbee. They consume marijuana by using various smoking instruments including but not limited to: pumpkins during halloween, apples when they've lost the pipe, vaporizers, beer cans, hookah bongs, regular bongs, really technically professionally glass blown bongs that are used during special months (april being the height of the year's smoking), really big and long pipes, really big and long joints, pears for obvious reasons, really big pipes that have frogs on them, pipes that come with a magnifying glass for natural heating because hippies sometimes want to be hippie-er, bongs shaped into the form of a Gnome\gnome, and when desperate their own hand, usually the left one for political reasons. This could not be said for any other college ever created. The school mascot is the bannana slug, which appears to be a life form in the shape of a joint.

Phenomenological Examination of Student Psychology and Behavior

They say such "hippi-fied" slang such as, "oh how pretty and nice, like a bong hit in the afternoon, why it's so nice, yes sir, take notice, slugs have descended upon the network webs, darkness and faint dim lights now glow in strange line formations between communication. slug migration and stability are the now the present state of the netted ether" and make you wonder whether you are the slug, or whether I am. After college they often retreat to the forest so to avoid the dangerous, much despised, and much much to real and sober "real world" which when uttered in the presence of them makes them incoherently mutter words like "work" or "social oppression" or "foucault." Once in the forest they become part of the anarchist community, referred to by students as the annie-ville, that started in the 60s.

The Professors are all completely stoned so classes are never required and so never attended to, except for when students are low on weed and can remember the day of the week when they wake up. This crucial difference results in higher class attendance for at least a week but once the next big shipment of weed arrives in the "bartle le scrive" van of happiness, life for students regresses (or progresses) to the previous state of complete, utter, and mystifying stonyness.

This stonyness state of consciousness goes on fairly consistently throughout the year, and it seems to have what santa cruz philosophers call a "gravity nugget of consciousness", named so because of the observed behavior of the attention mechanism of the brain, which when stoned perpetually lead to and insist a continual focus on all things relating to weed and not much else. Other "thought metathoughts" or "thought bookmarks" sometimes do take place, but they are generally perceived of in the context of weed.

The favorite classes at UCSC are "Phenomenology to Poststructuralism" and pretty much everything offered by the History of Consciousness department, not because the classes are necessarily better, but because the department's name is so academically slick sounding. Anything slick sounding makes student's suspicious at first, not because of it being slick, but because they're simply suspicious in general thanks to what they learned in those classes. Despite their suspicions though, they nevertheless still enrol in the classes and yet still do not go, except for the first day and the last.