The Fantastically Advanced Reindeer Team Squadron (Also known as FARTS, ultraFARTS, Secret FARTS or FantARTeSq-onKAPOW!munch.) was a team of international crime-fighting superreindeer. It was formed following the assassination of Santa in order to track down and bring the assassins to justice. Later, the team was commissioned by the federal government to fight crime. Particularly, crime in general, notorious for being one of the worst forms of crime.

The Story[edit | edit source]

Time: December 20, 2254 Location: The North. The far North.

It was a cold winter's day, the sort of day that made you want to stay inside and make a cup of hot cocoa, maybe catch a bit of "A Charlie Brown Christmas" or . But no, not this day. Today was far too important.

Thousands of elves had gathered around the presidential rostrum, nice and cozy in their handmade scarves and sweaters, a sea of colors: red, green, and gold. The national colors. Many of their faces were bare. The cold bit their noses like a booger-eating nose serpent. Their ears, the same. Santa stood atop his garland-decorated podium. His gaze was low. His hands shuffling through his speech notes, the bells on his wrists jingling. They were jingling far more than they usually were. Even when his hands were still, they were still jingling. Jingle, jingle, jingling bells. Santa was nervous. Santa wasn't usually this nervous. He had addressed his citizens for thousands of years, but he was never nervous. Why was he so nervous? Why now, of all times? War hadn't yet been declared even. There was nothing to worry about, not yet. Why, why, WHY?!

He looked to the right. He looked to the left. On both sides, his reindeer stood, cool and calm, their dark shades hiding any hint of emotion, their slick suits hiding their submachine guns.

"Greetings, citizens."

The crowd was silent. The only sound to be heard was the wind, whistling through the dancing snowflakes. It never learned to shut up and listen.

"Ho ho ho. SALUTE!"

"SALUTE!" The crowd echoed his militaristic cry.

Santa cleared his throat.

"Ahem. As many of you know, this is a time of great tension between our great nation of the Northpolians and the Canadians. It is they who desecrated the holy multi-colored eggs of our allies in Easter Island, they who