User:Not Me

THOU SHALLT BE CURSED IF THOU VENTURES FARTHER INTO MINE ILLOGICOPEDIA PAGE. THY WILT NEVER BE ABLE TO EATETH AN APPLE NOR A BOWL OF VITAMIN A, IF THOU DOESETH NOT OBEY THINE WARNING, THEN I SHALT CHALLENGE THEE TO A DUEL TO THE DEATH, SUCH THAT YOU MAY BE SPARED FROM THE TERRIBLE CURSE!

I Don't Exist.

I Have Never Existed

you probably do exist, if this is the case, please don't brag about it. if however you also don't exist, then good on you, and welcome to the club.

PS.

this article will be written last year.

Autobiography

There's been times when i thought it would be fun to exist, but then on

a fine morning in December i went to sleep, and then there came a

dream, the dream said that i should stop wishing to exist, and that

I should be grateful of not existing because its better and it makes trees

feel better about their unfortunate lack of mobility.

So then when i woke up i went to a restaurant and ordered a steak,

rare, but not to rare, after eating i contemplated the fact that i don't exist

so the restaurant shouldn't have been able to give me a

real steak, i asked a philosopher to help me find out

All there is to know about the nature of steak existence theory,

the philosopher said she couldn't be bothered helping me unless the

world suddenly united under one government lead by Dave

in the cave, so i went to Dave in the cave & asked him to lead the world

union, and he said yeah sure, so we embarked on a quest to unite

The world, but first we went tho the library and read a book on

world unification, it said that world unification was as easy

as peeling an orange, so Dave who used to be in the cave bought

one orange, but then he realised that he didn't know how, so a

Gathering of all the world leaders was called, so that

together they could teach Dave how to peel an orange,

One of the leaders was shocked that oranges could be peeled and lost his

mind, this made a fight break out,