User:One-eyed Jacques
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I am not actually a member of Illogicopedia, although my user page says otherwise.
By the simple stratagem of living in a place where everyone is dead I have so far escaped being blamed for my numerous crimes. It also helps if your crimes are committed in places where they are not illegal, of course.
So I remain locked in the crypts, consorting with worms and carrion beetles and certain species of flesh-devouring minge.