Vatheline

It may be utheful to point out beforehand that Alex and Chubthon work at Athta in Norwich. Now you may read the article and underthtand it. Or not.

Chubthon: "Hey, Alekth"

Alekth: "What?"

Chubthon: "That girl you like ith over there."

Alekth: "OMG WHERE?"

Chubthon: "Over there by the plathtic meat thtall."

Alekth: "That ith the kidth toy thecthion you know Chubthon."

Chubthon: "Ith it? What have I been eating for lunch today then?"

Alekth: "OMG thhe'th looking thith way! And thmiling... "

Chubthon: "I bet you can't athk her out without thhaking with nerveth"

Alekth: "I bet you I can!"

Chubthon: "Go on then I dare you"

Alekth: "OKAY THEN I WILL!"

Chubthon: "FINE!"

Alekth: "FINE"

(He walkth over to Mith Purdy)

Alekth: "Er... hello Mith Purdy I uh, erherm... wath wondering if er..."

(Thhaketh like hell)

Mith Purdy: "EARTHQUAKE! RUN!"

(Mith Purdy runth away)

Alekth: "Wait no! Come back! I love you Mith Purdy! Aw damn can't thtop uthing '!'!" (Alekth Returnth to Chubthon)

Chubthon: "How did it go?"

Alekth: "Not very well, my friend, not very well."

Chubthon: "Oh look, a potht-it note that hath been conveniently plathed on the bottom of your foot!"

Alekth: "It'th pretty notable."

Chubthon: "Not able to do what?"

Alekth: "No, it'th a note on the bottom of my foot"

Chubthon: "A footnote?"

Alekth:"Prethithely!"

Chubthon: "What doeth it thay?"

Alekth: "Uh oh... I have to thee the thupervithor."

Chubthon: "THAT'TH NOT GOOD!!!"

Alekth: "I KNOW IT'TH NOT!!!"

Chubthon: "WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO DO???"

Thupervithor: "WILL YOU TWO PIPE DOWN? YOU'RE THCARING THE CUTHTOMERTH!"

Cuthtomerth: Wahhh! Boo hoo!

Chubthon: "OH OKAY."

"NOW ALEKTH COME THEE ME IN MY OFFITHE!" Thaid the thupervithor. Yeth, jutht thaid; even though thothe capital letterth are there.

(Alekth jointh the thupervithor in hith offithe.)

Thupervithor: "Alekth, it'th been quite thome time now that you have been here. And thinthe your friend Chubthon joined the team you've been nothing but trouble ever thinthe..."

Alekth: "Mither Thupervithor, I can ekthplain! The manager'th dog wath pooing on the grath at the front of the thtore, tho I had to act. I thlapped the manager acroth the fathe! And I gave him thome Vatheline 2 thmother on hith dog... I mean, hith fathe, tho that it wouldn't thting and..."

Thupervithor: "Wait, you're giving away free Vatheline?"

Alekth: "Of courthe it'th really free thir. I jutht took it and nobody thaid " 'Hey wait he'th thtealing that Vatheline!' but then I fell over and then the Vatheline went everywhere and... "

Thupervithor: "You're fired."

Alekth: "Well I quit!"

Thupervithor: "You can't quit, I already fired you."

Alekth: "HAHA! That'th what you think! One - nil to me"

Thupervithor: "Huh? Whatdya mean one nil to you? I fired you. Therefore I am detherving of the one and you are detherving of the nil."

Alekth: "Actually, you're right. Your pantth are down by the way."

Thupervithor: "OH CRAP, THEY ARE! Hey, wait, you did thith?"

Alekth: "Yeth! And that ith detherving of two! Two - one to me! HAHA!"

Thupervithor: "No it'th not, it'th only one to you and one to... OK WHAT THE HELL GET OUT OF ME OFFITHE!!!"

Alekth: "Wahh!"

With one thtroke the thupervithor thpanked him. He enjoyth thpanking people. Mainly becauthe hith handhand thtingth afterwardth and it giveth him the ekthcuthe 2 uthe the Vatheline. Mmm yeth! For chapped handth altho! There ith no Vatheline left at the thtore becauthe the thupervithor liketh 2 eat it too. Dithguthting? It keepth hith inthideth clean. And hith breath thmellth nithe.

Now Alekth'th life ith ruined. What about Chubthon you may athk? Well he getth thacked altho. He eatth too much plathtic meat then throwth up all over the manager'th fathe. And there'th no amount of Vatheline which can cure that inthident. Oh well.