Verision

NOT SAFE FOR WORK

Unscrewing toothpaste tubes with your teeth is also meant to aid in verision. I think its to do with the Pro-Argen formula or something.

Verision is the practice of systematically and extensively forgetting large amounts of stored up knowledge and skills. Taught in the summer holidays by trained ffropesionals, school children are quickly able to use this verolutionary technique to forget everything they had learned throughout the year; freeing their minds up for endless Family Guy quotes, and the key plot points in up to 47 different porn movies.

The pracitce came about after Education Secretary, Kill Face, noticed that upon returning to school after 6 weeks of unpromised sunshine the knowledge the children had gained in the previous year was still with them, and in most cases had actually been built on, taking them far beyond the reach of what their teacher could do for them. Worried that the economy would grow too big and have to move into a larger appartment due to the mega-children leaving school en masse at the age of 13 to pioneer new and exciting industries, making the country untold billions, Kill Face knew something had to be done. After a strategic move of his mouse pad he declared himself Ecudation Nimister, and set to work ruining the minds of the swelling ranks of super-intellectuals.

After an intense night of swapping emails, burrowing, and the devouring of worms Kill Face emerged from under his bosses desk victorious and his face sticky. Using nothing but a sock, two paperclips and the most advanced technology known to man he'd managed to fire Britain's entire stock of amnesiacs into the sun. It's prolonged gaze slowly deleting important academic information over time, and ensuring a generation of useless Tesco checkout workers for some time to come.

What was I writing about again?