Witchcraft

You see, Witchcraft, as us humans call it, is a very simple task. It usually involves witches, and crafts of some sort.

Don't add to much!

Crafting Witches

The first step in performing Witchcraft is a procedure known as "Craftwitch" where you craft witches out of very cheap household items.

The ingredients to crafting witches are the following:

• Liverwort
• Basil Leaf
• Eyeball
• Human skull
• Ashes
• A black cape

1. You crush up the liverwort and wrap it gently into the basil leaves. Put them into boiling water at 400 degrees. Let them simmer for around 5 minutes.
2. Crush up the eyeball and stir it within the water. There should be a slight chemical reaction and the eye will start to reform and grow larger.
3. Place the human skull atop the water. Let it rest for 10mins for the skull to soak in the juices.
4. Slowly sprinkle the ashes around. Make sure you have about a pound of ashes. Let it simmer for 5 more minutes.
5. Take the black cape and use that to stir it around. It should start to make bigger bubbles and the eye should begin to attach to skull.
6. Light a candle and place it next to the pot.
7. Take a piece of food, and repeat this phrase as you put the food into the pot, "Witch, please receive this offering."

There you go, the witch should form. Clean off any basil leaf still on the witch.

Teaching Witches How to Craft

The next step on the agenda is to teach your witch how to craft. This a bit more expensive than "Craftwitch" but it is worth it. Go to your local hardware store and pick up a shovel. Rub some dirt on the shovel and place it in a pot of witches blood. To get witches blood you need to buy "Red Dye". Then, take the red dye and place it in a pot of boiling water. Purchase a device that labels things and label the pot, "Witches Blood". Believe me that matters. Anyway when you stick the shovel into the blood the shovel will start to glow. If you feel it it is a lot stronger than before. Next, go to your witch and hit it over the head. Do the continuously while shouting "Craft witch, craft!" "Craft witch, craft!" Over and over again. Eventually the witch will take random things around the house and make Lego houses. This is good, it means the witch is learning to craft. Soon you will be able to do Witchcraft.

"Craft witch, craft!"

Teaching to teach

This step is fairly hard. You need to teach your witch to teach you Witchcraft. Go up to your witch and say, "Hello witch, may I learn witchcraft?"

Now if you followed these steps you know how to do witchcraft. Don't take advantage of it or you'll get in troooouuubbbleee!