Wook

A wook is any wooden object that closely resembles a book. They were believed to be invented in the year 1218; the only reason I remember that is because it's the digits of 1812 switched around, you know, like the "1812 Overture" written by that Russian gangsta Tchaikovskizzle. Anyway, wooks were used as weapons before people started writing in them, and as weapons they are preferred over paper books, though readers and writers still prefer paper books for their craft. Wooks are still written to this day, but mostly by carpenters with ADD.

History

Wooks were first written on planet Mars by a Martian race of people that looked like the top half of Earth people, and they had nothing below the chest. But little did these Martian numbskulls, dimwits, nincompoops and doughnuts know that they were already being used as weapons on Earth. Sorry for making Earth a link; couldn't help it. Also, I didn't realize doughnut was another word for a stupid person. Anyway, when wooks were used as weapons, they were usually used by being thrown at the enemy; bonus points if the wook broke after hitting the enemy. However, the inventor of the wook was discovered by the enemy, who really wished people would use them to write in instead of attacking people. The wooks were forgotten on Earth until the late 2010s. Meanwhile on Mars, great authors such as Hgyocivkriesua von Nvxoejtu, Iourt McJwqqz, and Elifheuwnkikzabeth Breereereereevetonquio were writing wooks in both English and Martian, with titles like Five Little Atheists and its translation Veeveev Wikidifi Yeathizoxjia, Women For Dinner and its Martian translated version, which used an abbreviated version of the English title, Wifferdin, and exactly ten different books, Crumbs Volume I through Crumbs Volume X, each volume containing over two hundred thousand uses of the word "crumbs"; besides being a popular English word, in Martian, the same word, pronounced "croompz", was a popular slang term for thighs often used near the Martian city of Bzzzz, which is the only city in the universe named after the sound Earth insects make. The significance of these wooks is that they were never published as paper books.

Recent discoveries

On May 22, 2018, The Wizard Of Oz author L. Frank Baum stepped out of his time machine; he stepped in on the same day in 1918, a year before his death. He set the location to random, and ended up in a bar in Leipzig, Germany where he witnessed the creation of the digital currency Palai. He decided to go back to the same Leipzig location in 1918 to see what it was like before the bar was built. To his surprise, there was a treasure chest full of British wooks, some of which were blank, and others were copies of popular books by Jonathan Swift, Benjamin Franklin and several others. Baum traveled to 1969 and told the people building the building that would later become the bar not to build in the location they were planning, to not cover the treasure chest. However, someone else built a candle shop over it in 2017. However at this point, Joe Biden time traveled to 2017 to unearth the wooks and other treasure; not only were the wooks found, but a slip of paper containing L. Frank Baum's Palai account was found; the password to this digital currency wallet was changed, and now an Oz fan club president uses it as a personal, basic income-equipped account; Baum's account was not originally basic income equipped due to him not having a mobile phone. Due to this incident, there have been rumors spreading around the Internet that there were wooks about Palai, or wooks containing Palai account data, but this was just a rumor to create media buzz, much like the Abraham Lincoln phonautograph voice recording rumor. The newest book to be published as a wook (and added to the Baum society wook collection was the first Harry Potter novel; the wook version came out on the same day in 2001 as the film adaptation. This Harry Potter wook is significant for being made of maple wood, while most older wooks were made of oak. Only one wookstore exists in the world, specifically in Gwangju, South Korea, home of really good sushi, the birthplace of my precious wife, and a good place to enjoy kimchi in peace.