Warning: This article is insane.
"WOWZES, m80! U made it passed the #ROFL outbreak! ('Cause I heard that Mr. Moreno patented WOWZES, but ended up at John Travolta's Illuminatium festival.) Give yourself a good stab on teh Bach, cuz WOWZES is going to take you and murder yah and bury you in a... uh... dead cat. Sooner or later, in Godspeed.
Baphomet once said that if you fly on your motorcycle and watch the ground beneath you drop, God will say, "WOWZES, puny human whose name I know not! You're trying to enter my kingdumb of Heathen? DENIED!"
Light it on water!!!
WOWZES! You heard right: WOWZES! You seek the bewk of forgifnes? Wrong! The correct answer was peanut buddah, Einsteinium! While you were make pretty speeches, I'm being cut to shreds. Fowler! Fetch! Oh nose... u dropped the AIDS vaccine for the president of Illogia...
It's like those days when teh skyyyy is Californian Blue and you just gotta say "KCIDXNEJCNUFBCURNXUDBCYRNUCRBXHNSZ WOWZES, OT'S BORBRO STROSOND OMFG FRBUDENIDNTUBVRJMKBUDCNRKXN keep!" And that's when the ambrosia starts to curdle underneath the azure-colored benches reserved for devout snarfers (No! NO! Bad user! You're probably thinking of something else that the Urban Dictionary said, dodn't yah!?), and then the bench get's struck by lightning and bitten by an albino two-headed king cobras. Afterwards, it's liek "OMMFG WATTTTAFAKKKKKKKK UFNCIFNCURBKNSXBYCRURLZMIS WOWZES This bench now knows kung-fu and has a Hitler moustache! Fowler! Lemme use your dumb-pehonay! I need to take a selfie with this son of a bench (roflrofl I'm such a comedian) URRYHAY!!!
Hoo daw focc sed "No?"
Ted Bundy did, with kind regards to your missing brother. Oh, wait... you didn't notice he was missing in the first place, didn't you? As a matter of fact, he went missing 2 minutes ago!
INSTANT MURDER PSYCHOSIS™: PTSD MILITARY EDITION!!!
Activation code: WOWZES!!!