Zombies without hats

You silly person, with your cheap novelty hat.

Let's say you are balding. Or you want to hide a messy hair-do. Or mayby you just want a hat. Where would you go? A hat store. Now look at all you people. People with hats. Frolicking, dancing, and having quite a merry time. You drink your fancy waters, and you eat your fancy cheese, and you wipe your greedy bum with 5 karat gold paper. All you people. Doing all these things. With hats.

Look at you silly zombie, with your holiday themed hat.

But, there are some who are less fortunate than you. There are people who have been turned into zombies. Yes, zombies. The zombies will often like to fashinably represent their personality. So, they buy hats. Now look at all the zombies. Zombies with hats. Stumbling around, aimlessly going on, rotting, often killing people. eating brains, moaning constantly. You eat your fancy brains and you eat your fancy human flesh. You don't give a flying fadoodle about wiping your bum. You are carefree. All you zombies. Doing all these things. With hats.

Look at the poor zombie, without any hat.

But, there are some that are even less fortunate then zombies with hats. There are zombies, without hats. Now, I know it is hard for you to hear, but it's too late. There are actually zombies in this world without hats! These zombies are very finnacial crisis-ed. They cannot afford hats. They do not merrily stumbling around and moan like zombies with hats. The only things these zombies are capable of doing, due to their lack of hats, is eat people. Look at all you zombies. Sad and lonely. Without hats.

Zombies wihtout hats is a dangerous condition, which has no cure. To donate money to fight this cause, just send your ATM information to 42 ArrowStone Lane, Tylaind, California.