Block link

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A block link is one of those things admins see. It comes after the contribs link, which comes after the talk link. It sounds like a breakfast link, but it's not. Not some innocent piece of food. If only it were... if it were, it might belong with those other things it goes with. Or maybe it wouldn't. But it would certainly taste better.

I like food, you like food, Kentucky Fried Chicken and a Pizza Hut[edit]

Talk links and contribs links aren't food either. Just think about it, though. Neither of them are really for doing anything. A talk link goes to someone's talk page so you can see what sorts of ice cream people give them, and a contribs link goes to their contribs so you can see what kind of bagels they like to eat. But a block link isn't for ice cream or bagels. It's a thing where you actually do something, not for just looking at like the tulips in your front yard. It's the part where you pull up the tulips and throw ice cream at them, and they cry but you can't hear them because they're plants or you've revoked their talk page access or something.

Breakfast links aren't there just for looking at either, however. They're for eating. Kind of how a block link is for blocking someone. Still, though, it's different, because wouldn't you rather eat a piece of food than block someone? Or would you?

Shoes[edit]

On the other hand, talk, contribs, block has rather a nice ring to it. Almost poetic. Talk, contribs doesn't - it sounds incomplete, like when you're waiting for the second shoe to drop. But maybe that's just because I know there's another shoe. If I didn't, I might think everyone had one foot or something and I wouldn't bat an eye if someone had only one shoe... but the truth of the matter is that I do have two and a half shoes, so I know there are three of them and they will all drop. I guess I have three feet. That's kind of weird. Bother. Anyway, there might also be a logical sequence to the three shoes - er, links. Talk is for telling the person to stop throwing the wikidishes on the wikifloor, contribs is for finding out what other messes they're made and how many crabs they involved, and block is for when you've decided with the help of the other two things that they've had quite enough fun that day. Still, though, what if you only have two feet? It doesn't make any sense no matter what you do.

Where block links can be found[edit]

Block links are around every corner - on history pages, on user and talk pages, and on recent changes. They also show up in the pink notice boxes that tell you if something's been deleted, a page is protected or someone's blocked. You can hardly do anything without seeing one. They won't let you forget what you are. Just when you might have forgotten you were an admin and slipped away into some mindless task that relieved you of the wonderful and terrible state of mind the whole affair thrust unbidden upon you, a block link sneaks up on you from behind a bush and pops out with a fierce battle cry interspersed with evil laughter, and your composure is once again broken.

As if that weren't enough, some people put block links in their signatures. Nobody knows why they do this; maybe they're masochists, or maybe they're trying to prove how manly they are by daring you to block them. They should really wear pink instead. Alternatively they're just following the trend, like the similarly self-destructive fad of tide pods.

So it goes. This is what you see now. Maybe you like it this way. Maybe you don't; you don't want to be set apart, you don't want to do this thing. It's dirty. But you'll change. You'll learn to like it. They always change their minds, sooner or later. Or they break.

Or both.

See also[edit]