Illogicopedia:General disclaimer

From Illogicopedia
Jump to: navigation, search
To be confused with the General Disco Lamer.
Yes check.svg This page documents what purports to be Illogicopedia policy, as applied by the powers that be.

Ignore at your own risk, but be aware that, according to Admin laws, the Werewolves are open to bribery,
at least when the Police aren't looking. Quick, scatter!

Illogicopedia is in no way, shape or form:

  1. Sensible - Or sane, for that matter.
  2. Funny - Our site is not intended to be funny. We take nonsense seriously and so should you.
  3. Uncyclopedia
  4. Against Uncyclopedia - Since Uncyclopedia is trying to be funny, and we are not, there can be no competition between the two sites, since their goals are entirely different.
  5. Persuasive - Our site is not intended to convince you to believe anything.
  6. Mean - We do not host content that demeans or threatens people.
  7. Nasty - We do not host "nasty" content, such as graphic depictions or descriptions of sex, drugs and/or violence.
  8. True - parts may be, but please do not take it as gospel or use it for your homework, as you will be laughed out of the classroom. Fact!
  9. False - parts may be, but please do take it as gospel and use it for your homework, as you will be applauded out of the classroom. Fact!
  10. Your mum, no, surprisingly it's not - so Clean Up After Yourself!
  11. A suppository. (claims stating otherwise will be rectified)
  12. Real. (it was declared Integer)
  13. A website.
  14. Something, anything or nothing.

Terms of Use[edit]

Users must comply with the terms of use below:

  1. All use must comply with the G.D.P. and G.W.B. as set out by the T.I.T. soon to become the P.M.P.D.G.
  2. You may not reinstall this software.
  3. By downloading this website, nuclear power, the Illuminati, Dinkleberg, McDonald's, Google, sponsors, Third World countries, the monarchy, Ebay or Hull can be held responsible for computer failure, virus infection, meltdown, uranium enrichment, weight gain, porn found on search engines, heart failure, spending money, boredom, Civil war, meteor apocalypse, alien invasion, being ripped off, spilled milk or having a bad holiday.
  4. This website is intended for external use only; not to be taken rectally.
  5. This website may taste funny.
  6. Apply this website sparingly twice a day to the affected area for two weeks.
  7. Do not stop using this website unless advised to by your doctor.
  8. Should you have an allergic reaction to this website, stop using it immediately and seek medical help.
  9. Should this website come into contact with skin or eyes, rinse the area and seek medical attention.
  10. Always read the label.
  11. Always label the read.
  12. This website is not the elixir of life.
  13. Effects of this website may be subject to the placebo effect.
  14. Microwave this website at your own risk.
  15. Store this website in a cool, dry cupboard.
  16. This website is best served cold.
  17. No purchase necessary, prices without tax, however Canadian coins are not accepted.
  18. Websites are not tax deductible.
  19. One website fits all.
  20. Colours on website may fade if left in light.
  21. Smoking makes you look 'ard.
  22. Hand wash only, warm washes may cause the colour in the screen to fade.
  23. When using this website, do so in a well lit room, and do not sit too close to the screen.
  24. This is not a toy.
  25. Fuck. Be careful what you say, as your parents can go get the belt and spank you if you curse.
  26. White and dark websites cannot be washed together.
  27. Drinking while using this website is a criminal offence.
  28. You may not use this software, share it with anyone, edit it, redistribute it, talk about it to anyone, or even think of it.
  29. Illogicopedia, ?pedia and The Penguin Project disclaims any and all responsibility or liability for the accuracy, content, completeness, legality, regality, reliability, or operability or availability of information or material displayed in the ?pedia Service results. ?pedia disclaims any responsibility for the deletion, failure to store, miss delivery, or untimely delivery of any information or material.
  30. ?pedia disclaims any responsibility for any harm resulting from downloading or accessing any information or material on the Internet through the ?pedia Service.
  31. The Penguin Project reserves the right to modify, change, adjust, vary, alter, amend, exchange, swap, replace, substitute, trade, transform, convert, switch, regulate, fiddle with, correct, bend, tweak, revise, rework, rewrite, tinker, maintain, fine tune, tune, polish up, perfect, work on, improve, refine, hone, tighten up, round off, sharpen, enhance, make better, upgrade, raise or advance these terms and conditions under new circumstances, or not, as the the Penguin Project sees fit to do so, or not, or to be awkward.
  32. The ?pedia service is provided "as is", without any warranties whatsoever. If this website becomes corrupted it it your own fault, idiot; cruise the Internet looking for other losers like yourself.  ?pedia expressly disclaims to the fullest extent permitted by law all express, implied, and statutory warranties, including, without limitation, the warranties of merchantability, fitness for a particular purpose, and non-infringement of proprietary rights. The Penguin Project disclaims any warranties regarding the security, reliability, timeliness, and performance of the ?pedia service. The Penguin Project disclaims any warranties for any information or advice obtained through the ?pedia service. The Penguin Project disclaims any warranties for services or goods received through or advertised on or advised by the ?pedia service or received through any links provided by the ?pedia service, as well as for any information or advice received through any links provided in the ?pedia service.
  33. All licences, including software, driving and alcohol, are property of ?pedia or their respected owners or not as the case may be.
  34. The Illogicopedia reserves the right to do anything.
  35. It is physically impossible to comply with the terms of use.
  36. Failure to comply with the terms of use stated above is a fineable (up to £2000/$4000) offence and will be punished with instant decapitation and tickling.
  37. The Trump Administration, the National Weather Service, the British Parliament, Batman, Canada, Indian phone scammers, the Nigerian prince and North Korea may terminate, delete, remove, get rid of, poop on, eat, throw tomatoes at or corrupt your account without warning if you are found to be using it for fraudulent, evil, sinister, despicable, miserable, terrible or horrible purposes.
  38. Oh GoLlY pUrPlE sHeP dOeS nOt UnDeRsTaNd WhAt ThOsE wOrDs MeAn BuT tHeY sOuNd LiKe ThEy WiLl PuT pUrPlE sHeP iN jAiL iF pUrPlE sHeP dOeS nOt ObEy ThE wOrDs