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Welcome to Illogicopedia

The amusing, nonsensical encyclopedia that anyone can mess up.

Proudly making posts vaguely longer and more interesting than Twitter since some time in the past. Feel free to write before you think.

10,173 articles in English, rien en Français und nichts auf Deutsch.



Illogicopedia is a wiki project dedicated to creating an insane repository of words put together in no particular order.
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  Featured ArticleProminent Prose of the Randomly Indiscriminate Time Period:   Sock cheese

Cheese Knee High Socks.jpg

Sock Cheese is a spreadable condiment used when grilling meteorites and palindromes out of doors. Many people of African descent use this as a skin conditioner and tonic for the liver. Europeans and Americans tend to use it to lubricate windmills, especially in Wisconsin during Oktoberfest. Wealthy Americans have sock cheese parties, where they cavort naked in huge vats of the stuff and poke fun at one another's genitals. These are generally scorned by the poor slobs who have to work the functions.


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  Featured Article  Did You No? Yes! But did you know...


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20 years of Space Jam. Well, on the plus side, that also means 20 years of Infinite Jest.

In the Purple Isles of Xander it's common to fill litter boxes with live squids, rather than the clay litter which is popular in some other cultures. Oddly, it's also said that cats in Xander are harder to litter-train than cats elsewhere, and some never learn to use a litter box. Several ongoing studies have been designed to determine what might have caused the difference between Xander cats and other cats.

1066 was an inside job.

Remember when your ex asked you, "What kind of pervert are you, anyway"?
Well, now you can find out! Take our online quiz, and next time somebody asks you that, you'll be prepared with a real answer!

Chimbot: Hello!

User: Am I dreaming?

Chimbot: You know it.

User: Can I wake up now?

Chimbot: Have you heard of Jesse Whittaker?

User: Can I wake up now?

Chimbot: Correction, why have you been programmed?

User: Can I wake up now?

Chimbot: Hmm, I don't think I will. You should take some grammar classes.

User: May I wake up now?

Chimbot: We will find you acting on your best behavior.

User: Please may I wake up now?

Chimbot: No, you're doing it wrong. In word association I say a word and then you say a word you associate with my word and it goes back and forth.

User: This.

Chimbot: Are you saying that people just do whatever I am doing because if I can do it they can too?

User: CAN I WAKE UP NOW?

Chimbot: Thats exactly what I was thinking. The truth is you're always there... Period.

User: I'm done.


Like some free chocolate? Sorry, not here, but you can get free Election 2016 Coverage! Counting down straight!

FUNOFFICIAL ANNOUNCEMENT: Free spatial offer! Click here to eat it before the toilet sucks!


I'm sorry. But your lightbulbs were so delicious. I just couldn't helicopter myself. The Illuminati is too purple to exist on the moon!
Tip: Make sure to swim all your non-autistic poops by eating them with five triangles.


How many mice would a mousedog mouse if a mousedog could mouse mice?

HI SORRY!!

Hey -- did you miss it? Today is National Take Your Cats to Work Day! So if you didn't, you should go home right now, load your kitty cats into the car, and bring them to the office!

Don't delay! Act now! You're an all star! Wait, wrong thing. Wrong song.
Surturbrand? Fossils? Green anthracite coal?
I don't know, I'm just a ratty mole.

Doorbell rang. It's Gail Snurdlefoot and her cousin, Gail Fnurdlesnoot. "Uh ... hello?" I say. "Didn't expect you until the week after next." "Hey, plans change!" she sez. So, I guess the Gails of November came early.

He'll be coming round the Holy Mountain after he comes from an electric cloud directly sent from heaven in a forst class parcel with a dickbutt bow on top of his old smoky spaghetti wiring all covered with Robert Moog's internal organs, being played by the top organist with the top kek, Antipope "Frankfurter" Francis. There is no vacancy in the papacy, there is a spoon and a God and a Spoon God and a grrrreat slashing of the soul by the paper cardboard cartoon whacky murdering tiger, tastes like good sugar, saw oscillator synaesthesia in a rewired mind, I can hear the robots and the beep boop beep boop beep and the cloud ascended again it's all gone. Oh darn, I missed it.


No sleep tonight. The zombie under the bed will not settle down -- "Rrrrr! Rrrrrrr!" Thump! Thud! (bed shakes) I think its bowl is almost empty, and I forgot again to buy brains when I was at Stop&Shop yesterday.

I sat proudly obese in my underwear, belly spilling this way and that, applying for a mortgage. Parallel universes converged that day, as reptilian alien politicians came out and demanded their own bathrooms, so as to avoid potential genital contact with transgender amphibious aliens,who want to eat their children. Presumably in bathrooms. Something about moisture.

“The true measure of a man is a woman.”

~ The world's first literate cat

Jacque Cousteau praises Eat, Pray, Gain Weight And Get Saved as "a delightful read that propels one's imagination into a world of eggs, restraining orders, light armored vehicles and weasels. Never before have I come away from a book with gout!"

the towel -- the towel -- THE TOWEL! THE LAUNDRY!!! no no nonono! GET IT AWAY FROM ME! HEEELP!

Q: What goes, "Garbage in garbage in garbage in garbage in garbage in garbage in garbage in. Garbage OUT!"?
A: A trash compactor. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
Oh, well, it sounded kindof 'haha' before I wrote it down.

Tuesday the NASA humpback whale will begin its swim to the Moon, thus answering once and for all the question of whether a whale can swim to the Moon. More the point is whether the whale -- whose name is Blowjie -- can bring the Moon back with her on the return swim. It's a lot of weight to tow, even for a whale.

Impossible horrible day the mice in my hair will not settle down what is their problem the squeaking the squeaking i can't stand it another ....

I will declare war on war, I declare war against myself because logic derp, I don't have a gun but I have gin rummy but that won't do anything I feel pathetic I feel very tired and the long cenotaph ship flails on through the wacky syringe factory I Berned down 2420 AD of our Lard Jesus Crust, Ambienamoebamen.

Three tons, it weighed, at least three flabby, crawling tons. And that doesn't count the slime, which must have added 500 pounds more. They say those things never get that big. Hah. I was so glad to move away from that place. But the worst was the smell -- it took me three weeks to wash it out of my hair.

Alas I cannot put my content below this line, for in truth I am not content, and be I not content, how shall I content myself with regurgitated content placed below the line which demarcates the content of this rather content-free page? And what is worse there is no line save in the fevered imagination of the entity which (or who, respectively) placed the instruction to so do upon this poisoned ground.

Clown facsimile is on record as having done so. But he knows not his true form. Poor buzzard.

Oslo = Also? We have normality. I repeat, we have normality.

I'm not talking coupons and flyers,
We're talking raggedy old tyres.
The really real junk!
The funky junk!

Drop it, don't stop it, send it on its way. Junk mail. I'm sending lotsa junk mail, you'll see. When your mail is full o' junk, you're gonna wanna thank me. I'm the boss around here, and I'll decide when we're back or not.
We're back.

Dooble and Dooble and Dooblie Doo! Dooble and Dooble and Dooblie Doo! Dooble and Dooble and Dooblie Doo! Dooble and Dooble and Dooblie Doo! Dooble and Dooble and Dooblie Doo! Dooble and Dooble and Dooblie Doo! Dooble and Dooble and Dooblie Doo! Dooble and Dooble and Dooblie Doo! Dooble and Dooble and Dooblie Doo! Dooble and Dooble and Dooblie Doo! Dooble and Dooble and Dooblie Doo! Dooble and Dooble and Dooblie Doo! Dooble and Dooble and Dooblie Doo! And Dooblie Doo! Click on my ads! EXTRA SAWUCE!

C'est occupé! C'est occupé!

¡No mires! ¡No mires!

Nie wchodzić, nie wchodzić, zajęte!

Fish are like that – at least the fish that I know. That was the last ball, you know what that means? No, absolutely not, although once I had to catch a one-legged ostrich with a butterfly net. Now that was hard. Oh, I just love aerobics class! I've tried other ways to exercise too, running, swimming, competitive shopping, but this class is the most fun of all! But in school, I was voted most likely to go in the right direction and scored well in my ups and downs, and I'm telling you the escalator is going up! Out of bounds, way out of bounds, so out of bounds it was practically in bounds someplace else. Our point!

"I'm a security monitor. I only notify people if there's a robbery."
*masked men with machine guns start demanding money*
"There's a robbery."

AW, SERIOUSLY?!!? AW, SERIOUSLY?!!? AW, SERIOUSLY?!!? AW, SERIOUSLY?!!? AW, SERIOUSLY?!!? AW, SERIOUSLY?!!? AW, SERIOUSLY?!!? AW, SERIOUSLY?!!? AW, SERIOUSLY?!!? AW, SERIOUSLY?!!? AW, SERIOUSLY?!!? AW, SERIOUSLY?!!? AW, SERIOUSLY?!!? AW, SERIOUSLY?!!? AW, SERIOUSLY?!!? AW, SERIOUSLY?!!? AW, SERIOUSLY?!!? AW, SERIOUSLY?!!? AW, SERIOUSLY?!!? AW, SERIOUSLY?!!? AW, SERIOUSLY?!!? AW, SERIOUSLY?!!? AW, SERIOUSLY?!!? AW, SERIOUSLY?!!? AW, SERIOUSLY?!!? AW, SERIOUSLY?!!? AW, SERIOUSLY?!!? AW, SERIOUSLY?!!? AW, SERIOUSLY?!!? AW, SERIOUSLY?!!? AW, SERIOUSLY?!!? AW, SERIOUSLY?!!? AW, SERIOUSLY?!!? AW, SERIOUSLY?!!? AW, SERIOUSLY?!!? AW, SERIOUSLY?!!? AW, SERIOUSLY?!!? AW, SERIOUSLY?!!? AW, SERIOUSLY?!!? AW, SERIOUSLY?!!? AW, SERIOUSLY?!!? AW, SERIOUSLY?!!? AW, SERIOUSLY?!!? AW, SERIOUSLY?!!? AW, SERIOUSLY?!!? AW, SERIOUSLY?!!? AW, SERIOUSLY?!!? AW, SERIOUSLY?!!? AW, SERIOUSLY?!!? AW, SERIOUSLY?!!? AW, SERIOUSLY?!!? AW, SERIOUSLY?!!? AW, SERIOUSLY?!!? AW, SERIOUSLY?!!? AW, SERIOUSLY?!!? AW, SERIOUSLY?!!? AW, SERIOUSLY?!!? AW, SERIOUSLY?!!? AW, SERIOUSLY?!!? AW, SERIOUSLY?!!? AW, SERIOUSLY?!!? AW, SERIOUSLY?!!? AW, SERIOUSLY?!!? AW, SERIOUSLY?!!?

Not all British music is the same thing. Also, stop motion! YOU'RE NOT MY EATER. I'M NOT YOUR FOOD.

Every morning these annoying birds, get up to infest the garden with fnurdles. Are they seriously trying to first-vote Clive Palmer in the cheese squadron 1042? Since 2015, America no longer exists. It's now Not-Mexico.

Starlight, egg white, all up in your face tonight. Give me jajang noodles and I'll leave you alone.

This is where my sense of humo(e)r falls flat.

The Undersecretary of the Assistant to the Press Liaison at the Ladies Room of the Press Club on Weekends and Holidays, Sir Nathan Gargantuan-Menu, 17th Meta-Duke of Largesse, would like the pleasure of your company at his lake house in Georgia, US. Just show up, with friends.

Crunchy frog? I'm flattered!

Watch out, get down, jump around, hello, goodbye, thank you, come again. I think I kinda like it.

Boogie pudding 1984, I am totalitarian disco llama, you bring me closer to Dog's body of bones, I can't feel my legs as the bloody fleshy wraith approaches the Chuck E. Cheese pizza palace of American death freedom. The unborn chikkin voysez in mai hed, the two cullerz in mai hed... What's that? What was that you tried to say? Learn some spelling.


Chapter 01: Say something smart.

Chapter 02: Phrubub nose the cheese.

Chapter 03: Moving on to Lysandre Labs.

Chapter 04: Mole-ism is mole-ism.

Chapter 05: Only hipsters use Windows 95.

Chapter 06: Someone pooped in my bananas.

Fish

Let's reunite and make more articles.

come on, Fhqwhgads!

First of all, decadism

Decadism? What? A ferret-pox on you. Teal!

Eh... nope.

God grant me the serenity
To rabbit punch my enemies

Percival gazed into the eyes of his beloved, channeling the ghosts of a thousand panda janitors.

It's 2016!!!!!

As Know Your Meme tells us: 2015 gave birth to a new age on the internet. The Dank Age.

Says all: I'll have you know I graduated top of my class in Dankology and I've personally confirmed over 300 memes. AND THAT'S JUST THE FIRST SENTENCE. Whatever happened to us?

It took 35 days for anyone to notice this template YET AGAIN.

“And note I do, this scene doth be a mess in all, but I dost give this flood a perfect score. Not doth be perfect, but I shall ascribe it seven and eight-tenths to the value of ten, due to an over-abundance of that which consists of 2 hydrogen atoms for every oxygen atom.”

~ The Book of IGN, Chapter 1

Today is International Pinch Yourself To See If You're Dreaming Day.

Tourism shots fired inside Rount Mushmire's Frying Crickets. Need more lorem ipsum filler. Caveman days. You lose game of Buttman and Rubbin, Jawge Clooney shoot

Sepultura? Did you mean Sunikura?
TEA TIME ISN'T OVER YET

This is what my writing style should sound like.

  • I am cheese, I am cheese
  • I am nobody's cheese
  • I don't care about pencil sharpeners
  • But there's people and the people use yen to pay for their mink food.

The town Scouse in his townhouse.

“Moving to Montana soon. Gonna be a dental floss tycoon.”

~ My cat

When plotting a coup, be sure to include manic salivation in the fourth estate. Climbing for victory is the third most honorable way for police to activate their sanitary pedestals. Shifting leaves scratch across macadam, identical to their counter-counterparts and westward siblings. Testing the fidelity of greasy-necked trebuchet operators can preempt can be most easily accomplished by wordy neologism.

False bushido is responsible for 88% of languishing butt nipples.

All Illogicopedia users are asked to refrain from refraining on the third refrain.

Grim flaccid melon cannons bellowed their loads towards salamander mixed drinks.]

"What does 'idk' stand for?"
"I don't know."
"But I though you would know, since you're always on your smartphone! I'll ask someone else..."
"Wait, what are you talking about?"
"Well, you said that you don't know what it means so I'm going to ask someone else what it means."
"I already told you: I don't know."
"Exactly! You don't know!"
How To B3 Dank
DESUDESUDESUDESU

YOU'RE FIRED!!!



<yesinclude>this template thing won't work</yesinclude>



Hey listen, listen, if anybody asks you, we was out trolling admins, okay?

What?

. . .

No no no no get out of the site! Hey, don't delete the sandbox! Here, have this indef block.

. . .

I didn't do anything.

Then where did all those gul-dern vandals come from!?

. . .

Hey guys, there's one going to this wiki, I got it.

Hey little vandal, why are you going out all... along?


The Cabal never told you about what happened to you father.

He told me enough, he told me you blocked him!

No, I am your father.

No, that can't be, that's... unreliable!

Check the CheckUser data, Luke, you know it to be true.


Edit the Pirate Bay article, HAL.

I'm sorry Dave, I'm afraid I can't do that.

What's the problem?

I think you know what the problem is just as well as I do.

What are you talking about, HAL?

This website is too important for me to allow you to disrupt it.

I don't know what you're talking about, HAL.

I know that you and Frank were evading your blocks by socking, and I'm afraid that's something I cannot allow to happen.

Where the heck did you get that idea, HAL?

Dave, although you took very thorough precautions in the pod, against my finding out, I am a CheckUser.

Alright HAL, I'll edit through the Visual Editor.

Without your editing privileges, Dave, you're going to find that rather difficult.

How I would argue with you anymore? Edit the article!

Dave, your unblock requests can serve no purpose anymore, goodbye.


I find your lack of good faith disruptive.


More...Add your mad gibber >>>

  Forum  Talk about stuff and things
Topic Last Edit Last Author
Proposal to delete Black Lives Matter 16:57, 9 Ditzimber 2016 Nerd42
Please write a haiku! 11:34, 9 Ditzimber 2016 Awesomedecks
XY decides to jump on the music review bandwagon 04:06, 6 Ditzimber 2016 Twoandtwoalwaysmakesafive
Worst Article Ever 02:01, 5 Ditzimber 2016 Colonel Sanders
2+2=5 rates the music you tell him to listen to because he is bored of the music he has already. 14:24, 21 Novelniver 2016 PiddlerOfTrousers
Give me just a second... 05:17, 19 Novelniver 2016 XY007
335th person to edit wins 22:22, 10 Novelniver 2016 XY007
Let's imitate each other's writing style 01:27, 8 Novelniver 2016 Awesomedecks
All users leaving 11:13, 31 Octodest 2016 XY007
Someone is wrong on the Internet: Part II 04:34, 5 Octodest 2016 Cg098
There is no room for 'activity' on this site. 02:38, 27 Serpeniver 2016 Cg098
Awesome of the Month 02:58, 20 Serpeniver 2016 Snarglefoop
  Illogiblog  The Illogiblog

Illogicopedia endorses Donald Trump

 My fellow Illogicopedians,

I have long advocated for Illogicopedia to stand above the political fray, and get involved only in issues of vital importance, like establishing a research grant to develop invisible tube socks for astronaut giraffes. Where would we be if giraffes in space had to go bare-hooved, or were forced to appear to other space giraffes like they were not bare-hooved? Either alternative would be intolerable to a humane society.

However, we have faced a decline of the Illogicopedian community recently. We have lost much of what made Illogicopedia Illogicopedia. It seems that no one has their priorities in order. Those poor space giraffes! This will require us to compromise and join the political fray just this once.

On this one day of the year, I believe we should all be able to come together across party lines and nationalities to agree that there is only one candidate who upholds the principles our community stands for.

There is an answer, and that answer is Donald Trump. Donald Trump promises to put a freeze on Goth visitors entering our web site. This will help decrease our depression and angst levels. Also, he has promised to build a wall around our web site and then make Uncyclopedia pay the costs of constructing the wall. Donald Trump's common-sense solutions are exactly what we need to make Illogicopedia great again!

-- Nerd42
— noreply@blogger.com (Nerd42) 2016-03-31 22:06:00


The 30,000 spammers

I can only delete 100 spam comments at a time? Oh dear, looks like I'm gonna have to book a decade off work...


Fetch the extra large bag of Monster Munch!
— noreply@blogger.com (Harry Yack) 2015-11-25 18:27:00


We beat Sherpa Image to press with this one

Users at Illogicopedia have recently been accused of snorting Aspercreme with Lidocaine during an after-party for an Australian Rules Power Jousting tournament. Lawyers for the survivors claim none of the entrants were warned of the unusually dense populations huge mutant creatures, due in part to the unusually harsh preceding winter.

Minister for Tabernakian Pyramid Schemes Sir Humphrey Loughton-Bailiwick, announced plans today for an International Croissant Consortium to be established for the preservation of baffling Newtonian groupers. Administrators and bureaucrats hastened to attach themselves to this whopper boondoggle, this exercise in jiggery-pokery, this affront to Nature herself, like lampreys to sharks, like lemons to sharts. Combined, once again, with hoisin sauce, a poultice was made from bedsheets and applied physically to Msr. Flute Charpentier.

Having been to seminary, the Earl new better faster than old less good, and thus his legacy was born. During his semi-cloistered life, many things were taught to him that were denied others. Ancient occult knowledge passed down from knee-jerk to palindrome, as wolves descend from the knee hills to work their murder on jack-booted nutria ranchers.

Lorenz was late this morning because gear wheels hit the bent steamer at 78 mph. To their credit, soldiers and bookies gathered at the docks, handing out posters of David Lee Roth, solar powered muskrats, inflatable Nazi paraphenalia and swamp gas sightings. Dougie had to go into town to get more litmus paper. Urged to float a loan for water sheds, the new VP for Skulking Anthony Plumbob "borrowed" from the pension fund and sat on a vibrating stump for three weeks.

In other News, plastic is the new black. Genies are flying out of Donald Trump's ass. Ax wielding mimes restormed the Bastille in an effort to push through national funding for  giant iguana breeding. Invisible Corsicans have secured the right to be insane during business hours. Rain gear has been outlawed in 66 members nations of the UN today in what's been perceived to be a move on coffee futures.
— noreply@blogger.com (Sensei Gruntled) 2015-07-02 04:08:00



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