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Welcome to Illogicopedia

The amusing, nonsensical encyclopedia that anyone can mess up.

Proudly making posts vaguely longer and more interesting than Twitter since some time in the past. Feel free to write before you think.

9,683 articles in English, rien en français und nichts auf Deutsch.



Illogicopedia is a wiki project dedicated to creating an insane repository of words put together in no particular order.
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  Featured ArticleProminent Prose of the Randomly Indiscriminate Time Period:   Dan and Phil
ALIENS FROM MARS!!!

Dan and Phil is the codename for a covert project by the Government of Mars. Its initiative is to colonise Mars with teenage girls by seducing them with the YouTubers before mass abducting them when the time is right.

The project has links back to 1996, when Martian MP for Olympus Mons North, Smeglog Snarfbpollum, asked in the Martian parliament about colonisation plans, with the colonies minister indicating that there were 'no plans'. However, the government soon revealed a white paper in 2000 titled Mars 2025: Growth, Expansion and Colonisation, which highlighted the use of humans in order to populate Mars.


Recently featured: Dr. OzIllogiNews:A rebuttal of the State of the Union 2011 as written by a bulimic 15 year old American femaleAluminum Bárons²Deep cheese massageWriting A Story‎Budwig and The Feetie FootiesHowTo:Make a Bird Shut Up

  Featured Article  Did You No? Yes! But did you know...


More DYKsAdd your own >>>

  IllogiNews  In the News
  Vandalpedia  Mindless sandalism
c:\
cd  ♣
‡ ERROR IN ANTEDELUVIAN SYNC; Request Sofa No. 2? Y/N?
‡ PLEASE WAIT WHILE RASTA RASTER SYNC; Request Sofa No. 2? Y/N?
‡ FATAL ERROR IN LINGUA FRANCA SECTOR;
‡ Recommend smoking a spliff. Select usage type: [M]EDICAL/[R]ECREATIONAL/[A]CCIDENTAL FISHBOWL _

So, Massachusetts' first marijuana dispensary is officially open for business. And... there's tons of bullshit to deal with. So I guess I'm back to smoking dust bunnies.

And the band played left.

Manky gits are gathering on our borders. I am The Mank that settles under your rollers

[Ich bin dein geheimer Schmutz] Und verlorenes Metallgeld > ''METALLGELD''> Frank Zappa permutator, correlative to Utility Muffin Research Kitchens:

I am your secret smut and lost metal money

Request Sofa No. 2? <Y/N>
Request Law & Order reruns? <Y/N>
Request Smell? <Y/N>

“Walls, HUUUH. What are they good for? Absolutely nothin'. Except bashing people's heads against.”

~ Ray 'Redlink' Winstone
You really talk my language, oh creamed cheese and salmon sandwich.

Mad gibber? I don't know where to start. Perhaps a Ghetto Leprechaun will inspire me to new depps of Johnny depravity.

'Genre Police' is growing on me. Wherever I walk I make inexplicable siren noises for no reason. Now it's in the top twenty on the charts in Norway. Like, the everything charts. That's reason to be Norwegian #256, with #257 being Dragostea Din Tei.

Well excuse you, I was being sarcastic.

DO YOU LIEK GLADIATOR MOVIES???

I LOVE GLADIATOR MOVIES!!!

Non-negative integers eh? desudesudesudesudesudesudesudesudesu

There's a demon wearing your face.

I dreamed of Mecha-Streisand again. Fairly lurching through sleep states... theta waves, I have a particular affinity for... I shambled along like a drunk trying to find his way home, a slow, staggering pinball surreally bouncing off this lamp post, that that curbstone... until I jolted awake with a buzzer driving my nervous system, in a cold sweat... can't move my neck properly, still... numb hand arrhythmically tapping cadence to nothing... the minds eye still sees the gigantic mechanical monstrosity, Barbara Streisand in its primal state, screaming as it destroys aircraft, soldiers and artillery.

The first annual Coma Patients Open, hosted by the United States Golf Association (USGA), will be held at St. Andrews (Scotland) Thursday through Younts, July 32. We expect y'all will support our favorites in meatspace or watching on television. Our ringer this year will be Gregor

Japan: The Final Frontier. Land of excessively big eyes and voices higher than a two year old girl that sucked 60 canisters of helium. Japan: your pink haired cousin's fantasy. Anywho, can the Ethernet just shut up? We don't have time for her her her HERR DIREKTOR! OH MY JODD IT'S A MUTHERYUKKING BALD PANDA KAWAII DESUU!!!!!!! derp. Join me as i venture deep deep deep into the epiglottis in search of my comrade Rasputin. Lord knows how much "water" he drank... Hey you! Yeah you! YOU! Go buy me a smartphone! But sir I'm a panther see meow meow meow meow. YOU'RE JUST LIKE THE FREAKING ETHERNET GET THE HELL OUTTA HERE HERE HERE HEAR THAT NOYZZZZ? It's the sound, da sweet sweet sownd of da SLAUGHTERHOUSE on a warm summer day down is Mississippi oh ja... Hey guys I'm that filthy guy that assassinated Franz Ferdinand come at me bro bro bro bro row the boat faster you tortoise! I have a meeting with the UN yet here we are stuck on the Thames! THE THAMES! UHBEFHVBHDFYUVGRUYHERUFHEUYVGEYUVGYGVYGVYUEH8nrudnehfmrihc :) yrjsjshry UK i rd hdnfhdkjxmhfjdmhsnf :) douenchfkrj 2HDEYFIERGVUBCY BARBRA STREISAND! Anywho, my mother recently adopted a boy that was raised by wolves deep in the Amazon...only comment we can make is that Mao Zedong has taken a very sudden interest in him... And remember kids: 2+2=5! Bearz...

GUMMI BEARS BABABABA GUMMI BEARS BABABABA GUMMI! YEAH GUMMI! NO IT'S GUMMY SPELL IT RIGHT, MAN! GUMMI/GUMMY BEARZZZ!!! BEARZ BEARZ BEARZ BEARZ BEARZ

BEARZ!!! bearzbearzbearz

I liek bearz.

I just love, love, love buttons! [hyperventilates]

“I'd have the blueberry if I were you.”

~ Smooth(ie) operator
There's been far too much jocularity here. Bugger off.

Oh sweet, lovely mink! How we miss your carnivorous ways! We worship your spirit and glue onion rings to our shoes.

TEXT TEXT TEXT! MINK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! This space is for sandalism only. Stupid pictures, while fine because they are stupid, still have no place here. We want witty banter, or kaizumery of any monopole.

[20150506134537] MyIllogiDatabase> CLEAR "MAINPAGEVANDALISM" OLDER> 10DAYS
Clearing main page vandalism older than 10 days...

Done. Deleted 30738 bytes of nonsense.

Put The Lotion On Its Skin

by Simone Predatory Lending
It puts the lotion on its skin,
Until the hair grows back again.

My imaginary friend lived inside my blackboard, and I inside my home.
We kept our distance for a while, but in the end, I drew her in.
HA! geddit? [shot]

Collections collected collections collectively. Collections

You had to schedule a doctor's appointment about that splinter? Who would be fussed enough to do that? Maybe it's くよくよくん. Hm, that くよくよくん never seems to be of sound mind, does he?

I specifically ordered ten cows for the decorate-a-cow ceremony and all you do is tickle them? What kind of a monster are you?! Please stay away from my children and don't sell them your biography.

More...Add your mad gibber >>>

  Forum  Talk about stuff and things
  Illogiblog  The Illogiblog

We beat Sherpa Image to press with this one

Users at Illogicopedia have recently been accused of snorting Aspercreme with Lidocaine during an after-party for an Australian Rules Power Jousting tournament. Lawyers for the survivors claim none of the entrants were warned of the unusually dense populations huge mutant creatures, due in part to the unusually harsh preceding winter.

Minister for Tabernakian Pyramid Schemes Sir Humphrey Loughton-Bailiwick, announced plans today for an International Croissant Consortium to be established for the preservation of baffling Newtonian groupers. Administrators and bureaucrats hastened to attach themselves to this whopper boondoggle, this exercise in jiggery-pokery, this affront to Nature herself, like lampreys to sharks, like lemons to sharts. Combined, once again, with hoisin sauce, a poultice was made from bedsheets and applied physically to Msr. Flute Charpentier.

Having been to seminary, the Earl new better faster than old less good, and thus his legacy was born. During his semi-cloistered life, many things were taught to him that were denied others. Ancient occult knowledge passed down from knee-jerk to palindrome, as wolves descend from the knee hills to work their murder on jack-booted nutria ranchers.

Lorenz was late this morning because gear wheels hit the bent steamer at 78 mph. To their credit, soldiers and bookies gathered at the docks, handing out posters of David Lee Roth, solar powered muskrats, inflatable Nazi paraphenalia and swamp gas sightings. Dougie had to go into town to get more litmus paper. Urged to float a loan for water sheds, the new VP for Skulking Anthony Plumbob "borrowed" from the pension fund and sat on a vibrating stump for three weeks.

In other News, plastic is the new black. Genies are flying out of Donald Trump's ass. Ax wielding mimes restormed the Bastille in an effort to push through national funding for  giant iguana breeding. Invisible Corsicans have secured the right to be insane during business hours. Rain gear has been outlawed in 66 members nations of the UN today in what's been perceived to be a move on coffee futures.
— noreply@blogger.com (Sensei Gruntled) 2015-07-02 04:08:00


No! Don't take that pill!

Professional apoplectic and union gooch bedazzler Warren Leaky-Blemish had decided to use the minions at his disposal to eradicate Illogicopedia. He has failed profoundly.

Binging on Red Lobster the night before had a deleterious effect on his plans to contract ADHD. Buckets of yoz.

Smell the torts! Sniff them well! For they may whiff of toothpaste laden with antifreeze.

Sylvia joined the Army, just like those assholes at her high school said she would. Languages were her gateway to bigger, better things. Farsi, Mandarin, Finnish, Mandinko... the list went on to the wee wee hours, when she had to pee a lot.

Often elephants would grow an extra set of tusks,  just to show how badassed they are. Once more, into the breach!

If you had iguana lips, your mom would still love you.
— noreply@blogger.com (Sensei Gruntled) 2015-05-16 02:46:00


Illogicopedia closing

It is with a heavy heart that I must announce the closure of Illogicopedia. As you may be aware, our hosting is funded from donations, some of which came from Russia and due to recent upheavals in the global economy, that funding source has been cut off. Apparently the funds had been transferred through a Ukranian bank which has since been seized by the Putin regime. Anyway, it's too late to fix it at this point. We have already gone so long without paying that Roberto, our hosting provider, has stated that he will be unplugging the servers and deleting all our content sometime tomorrow even if we were to pay our bills. Looking forward, discussions among the Illogicopedia community have yielded mixed results. A consensus seems to have emerged that the decline in participation in recent months and years was due to burnout on the concept of illogical silly content, and that the community should probably switch gears to actually help with bringing the world useful information instead. To this end, plans have been set in motion to launch a new site called Logicopedia. Registration for this exciting new opportunity will begin soon. Stay subscribed to the IllogiBlog for further updates! -- Nerd42
— noreply@blogger.com (Nerd42) 2015-04-01 16:54:00



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