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Welcome to Illogicopedia

The amusing, nonsensical encyclopedia that anyone can mess up.

Proudly making posts vaguely longer and more interesting than Twitter since some time in the past. Feel free to write before you think.

9,528 articles in English, rien en français und nichts auf Deutsch.

Illogicopedia is a wiki project dedicated to creating an insane repository of words put together in no particular order.
(Find out more...)

  Featured ArticleProminent Prose of the Randomly Indiscriminate Time Period:   IllogiNews:A rebuttal of the State of the Union 2011 as written by a bulimic 15 year old American female

Like, OMG, Prez Obama like said stuff, like about the economy you know. And, like Sputnik. And John Boehner and that old fart like, sat behind him and stuff. OMG Chelsea just texted me back about her date with Sean, that dreamy guy I have chemistry with. And they went to Chuck E. Cheese's with Sean's little brother Johnny and he, like, threw up totally! That pizza was poisoned by, like, a like, like, idiot, who like, couldn't cook. Uh, what, Brad like made out with Sally. Oh, mah GAWD!

Recently featured: Aluminum Bárons²Deep cheese massageWriting A Story‎Budwig and The Feetie FootiesHowTo:Make a Bird Shut UpMillard FeelmoreBurbleSauropods as PetsFridge Within a Fridge

  Featured Article  Did You No? Yes! But did you know...

More DYKsAdd your own >>>

  IllogiNews  In the News
  Vandalpedia  Mindless sandalism

I dreamed of Mecha-Streisand again. Fairly lurching through sleep states... theta waves, I have a particular affinity for... I shambled along like a drunk trying to find his way home, a slow, staggering pinball surreally bouncing off this lamp post, that that curbstone... until I jolted awake with a buzzer driving my nervous system, in a cold sweat... can't move my neck properly, still... numb hand arrhythmically tapping cadence to nothing... the minds eye still sees the gigantic mechanical monstrosity, Barbara Streisand in its primal state, screaming as it destroys aircraft, soldiers and artillery.

The first annual Coma Patients Open, hosted by the United States Golf Association (USGA), will be held at St. Andrews (Scotland) Thursday through Younts, July 32. We expect y'all will support our favorites in meatspace or watching on television. Our ringer this year will be Gregor

Japan: The Final Frontier. Land of excessively big eyes and voices higher than a two year old girl that sucked 60 canisters of helium. Japan: your pink haired cousin's fantasy. Anywho, can the Ethernet just shut up? We don't have time for her her her HERR DIREKTOR! OH MY JODD IT'S A MUTHERYUKKING BALD PANDA KAWAII DESUU!!!!!!! derp. Join me as i venture deep deep deep into the epiglottis in search of my comrade Rasputin. Lord knows how much "water" he drank... Hey you! Yeah you! YOU! Go buy me a smartphone! But sir I'm a panther see meow meow meow meow. YOU'RE JUST LIKE THE FREAKING ETHERNET GET THE HELL OUTTA HERE HERE HERE HEAR THAT NOYZZZZ? It's the sound, da sweet sweet sownd of da SLAUGHTERHOUSE on a warm summer day down is Mississippi oh ja... Hey guys I'm that filthy guy that assassinated Franz Ferdinand come at me bro bro bro bro row the boat faster you tortoise! I have a meeting with the UN yet here we are stuck on the Thames! THE THAMES! UHBEFHVBHDFYUVGRUYHERUFHEUYVGEYUVGYGVYGVYUEH8nrudnehfmrihc :) yrjsjshry UK i rd hdnfhdkjxmhfjdmhsnf :) douenchfkrj 2HDEYFIERGVUBCY BARBRA STREISAND! Anywho, my mother recently adopted a boy that was raised by wolves deep in the Amazon...only comment we can make is that Mao Zedong has taken a very sudden interest in him... And remember kids: 2+2=5! Bearz...


BEARZ!!! bearzbearzbearz

I liek bearz.

I just love, love, love buttons! [hyperventilates]

“I'd have the blueberry if I were you.”

~ Smooth(ie) operator
There's been far too much jocularity here. Bugger off.

Oh sweet, lovely mink! How we miss your carnivorous ways! We worship your spirit and glue onion rings to our shoes.

TEXT TEXT TEXT! MINK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! This space is for sandalism only. Stupid pictures, while fine because they are stupid, still have no place here. We want witty banter, or kaizumery of any monopole.

[20150506134537] MyIllogiDatabase> CLEAR "MAINPAGEVANDALISM" OLDER> 10DAYS
Clearing main page vandalism older than 10 days...

Done. Deleted 30738 bytes of nonsense.

Put The Lotion On Its Skin

by Simone Predatory Lending
It puts the lotion on its skin,
Until the hair grows back again.

My imaginary friend lived inside my blackboard, and I inside my home.
We kept our distance for a while, but in the end, I drew her in.
HA! geddit? [shot]

Collections collected collections collectively. Collections

You had to schedule a doctor's appointment about that splinter? Who would be fussed enough to do that? Maybe it's くよくよくん. Hm, that くよくよくん never seems to be of sound mind, does he?

I specifically ordered ten cows for the decorate-a-cow ceremony and all you do is tickle them? What kind of a monster are you?! Please stay away from my children and don't sell them your biography.

More...Add your mad gibber >>>

  Forum  Talk about stuff and things
  Illogiblog  The Illogiblog

No! Don't take that pill!

Professional apoplectic and union gooch bedazzler Warren Leaky-Blemish had decided to use the minions at his disposal to eradicate Illogicopedia. He has failed profoundly.

Binging on Red Lobster the night before had a deleterious effect on his plans to contract ADHD. Buckets of yoz.

Smell the torts! Sniff them well! For they may whiff of toothpaste laden with antifreeze.

Sylvia joined the Army, just like those assholes at her high school said she would. Languages were her gateway to bigger, better things. Farsi, Mandarin, Finnish, Mandinko... the list went on to the wee wee hours, when she had to pee a lot.

Often elephants would grow an extra set of tusks,  just to show how badassed they are. Once more, into the breach!

If you had iguana lips, your mom would still love you.
— (Sensei Gruntled) 2015-05-16 02:46:00

Illogicopedia closing

It is with a heavy heart that I must announce the closure of Illogicopedia. As you may be aware, our hosting is funded from donations, some of which came from Russia and due to recent upheavals in the global economy, that funding source has been cut off. Apparently the funds had been transferred through a Ukranian bank which has since been seized by the Putin regime. Anyway, it's too late to fix it at this point. We have already gone so long without paying that Roberto, our hosting provider, has stated that he will be unplugging the servers and deleting all our content sometime tomorrow even if we were to pay our bills. Looking forward, discussions among the Illogicopedia community have yielded mixed results. A consensus seems to have emerged that the decline in participation in recent months and years was due to burnout on the concept of illogical silly content, and that the community should probably switch gears to actually help with bringing the world useful information instead. To this end, plans have been set in motion to launch a new site called Logicopedia. Registration for this exciting new opportunity will begin soon. Stay subscribed to the IllogiBlog for further updates! -- Nerd42
— (Nerd42) 2015-04-01 16:54:00

You bring the tripe, I'll bring the wine

The Tao Te π

"The π which  cannot be expressed as a ratio of integers is not the π."

In the act of creation, boom! down goes the server. Just because everybody loves π,  π don't necessarily love you.

Therefore, the hypotamoose.

There are always consequences

Like a tea party in a bounce house, Illogicopedia bumbles along, mired in the non-noteworthy, passing lumpy space bits off as Farsi speakers propel their smell into hell. Then this happens. I didn't want to say anything, but the mother spit profusely when she talked. Annoying.

If Lumpy Jake turns

Don't kill him. He's not the Buddha, after all. Nor is he on the road. Worst case, he's a were-turnip. Just ignore him and hope he won't kill you.

It's all about ratios. Or did I misspell rations? Either way, you get what you're issued, and you have to compare it to something. That's how you get the ratio. Or ration.

Once you have the ratio, ask yourself, "Is this circular logic?". If so, unroll it until you see π. 
— (Sensei Gruntled) 2014-06-02 21:50:00

  Languages  Don't speak the lingo? (Don't worry, we can't either)
You are currently reading the English language version of Illogicopedia. Started in 2007, it currently contains 9,528 pieces of junk known as articles. But did you know that Illogicopedia is available in a variety of other languages? Yep, and we're going to list them for you right now.
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