Falafel
"A FALAFEL TODAY, A FALAFEL AGAIN, WE DO WHAT WE DO, CAUSE WHY NOT!" -Alen Brocksby, president of the T.Y.P. Haarp company.
A falafel is a Neuro-Swahili word for the undergarments used by soda knifes and tambourine girls. But that's not what you're here for, NOW IS IT?! The falafel we all know and love (except if you don't know what it is, and that's why you're here) is a food source first developed by Aztec missionaries lost in the Boston subway system. The word is rooted from the Latin word FALAP FAPPERS, which means "the deity overlooks pie". It originally consisted of rat filets and ground-brick crusts (This is top notch for the subway system), but now incorporates many features, such as slowpoke tails and essence of papercut.
Today it is consumed with liquified soda-gel, as other drinks typically overwhelm the circulatory system, leaving the ingestee with cramps in their ear nobes. Meanwhile in Tebek, liquified soda-gel is outlawed for robbing three banks and a McDonalds.
Falafels in cake form are increasingly popular, even in Jeromesvile. They are typically priced at the same price, or a few cents more, than a 12-pack of root beer. Mostly Smurfs can not afford this without resorting to window selling, so for their bennifet and yours, the next paragraph will be on how to make them from falafel concentrate.
Firstly, take the falafel, surround it with butter-beer, and drop the whole thing in a deep fryer. Add in juju berries and a few sparkly gems for good measure, close the hatch, and wait. After an hour or so, crack that baby OPEN! And by crack, I mean gently lift. Don't want to harm the cake.
I LIED! There is more than one paragraph on cake! Enjoy it while it lasts.
Remove the cake with alligator clips and sprinkle it with mustache shavings. (From one Caker to another: If possible replace the shavings with cured spider mandibles) The cake is ready to be orally absorbed! Be nice to it!
The Great Falafel War[edit | edit source]
It happened. While visiting the Aztecian subway-missionaries, the highly popular and Russian actress Jugleh Biggles slipped up a coma and adopted a cancerous Zeno-plankton only known to scientist-sailors. This must be a declaration of war! Try as they might, the poor Aztecians couldn't convince the Sailor-Scientists that they were innocent. The SS's, as they came to be known, had an army of navies and a basket of crabs, while the Aztecians had only a few shurikens and a flag made out of stolen tee shirts. But never worry! The humble Aztecians had amassed an army of Liberal groupies! While not good at fighting, they sure could protest up a tidal wave, and in all the ensuring madness, the Aztecians made a clean getaway! They continued to grow falafels from mere saplings in a secret orchard in a giant pair of pants somewhere in the French Alps, bringing the world joy from afar!
Where They Are Now[edit | edit source]
As mentioned above, the Aztecians lived a quiet life in North Southern-France. The SS's, after dispatching the protesters, returned to their underground meteor crater of a home in shame, and we're never heard from again. "But what about the Smurfs that love falafel cake?", you are asking. They continue to live in a particularly large Hawiian apartment complex, peacefully co-existing with the native Katsura-shrooms.
The End All good things must come to an end. Was this a good thing? Well, it ended, didn't it?!?