I’m floating on the banister, there’s spiders on the ceiling and there’s cymbals in the tellyvision

ALAS ALAN!++

The tutrle got out of is cage sagain too. Late concertee srtructue. Whatever shall i do? And now thwte wahsinf machine make s funy noises. It kepes me awake at jight aswell.

the animals......

ALAS! The cat is on the og bed and the dog is on the cat bed! Tjis is hersy! ANd the bird eats the hamseters pellets, the hamsesrte eats the bird food! The stuffed walriwalris watcheds this chaos from afare, and he laughss. SOne walkri just want to watch the world burn. But does the fish escape the bowl ad breathres on dry lans? The walkrus pnders this. FOr fish have lunds, so they must be able to breaeths oxugen? But the walris doesnot try.

duel of the washer and fridge

And the refiriderator begins to hum. There is nothing else bit the hum of the fridge, ans so it counters the washing machine. The washing machine uhnsheasthes a violin from its back. But the refireidgerstator has no weapon? What shall it so! But the frishe has indeed a weapn! It draws its 42month ols greats carrot sticks from wuthin its cold interioir. DUEL!!

the sad sun and the bwayyy etter moon of whom the sun despises

The sun is jeaslois of the moon. Te moon is make on cheese, it believes. But to the thradgedy of the SUN, the sunn is amade of fire and ice. The sun becgines to ponder on comets. The comets are made of rock and sock, and are on fire aswell. but whay the sun shant be made of cheese! Tjsis s herersy! And the sun knew this to be theerue.

and while s=the sun ponders

the fish attempts to heist awway the cat fod and rogaimne, for the fish must become stronngg, strngr like the bussing bees. string like the breese in the sky... but alas, alan... can the fish breathe on dry land?

tradeeshsytradgedy! of the dryer

he looks on as his brother vailansytly fghts the carro sticks og the frisgde. but he miust only watch, as two on one would be unfair. but if he must, he had the power of god and anime on his side. his time would comee,....

the walsksrus

ad the walrus watched the chaoss unfiold. he smailed. soem walkrisses just wnat to wacth the world burnss.... and smooek soem dnak.

barky is a good glaceon

barku wathched shocjedly, as the symbals spewed from the telly vision. the symbals flewinto the table with such force that they were now stick there! "ALAS, ALAN!!" Barky approcahed the rtable slowelty. he nearged the symbeals, and he took abite out of one. "yum! tasters like lemon." then he turned to the table itself. he took a bite. "yuck. tasterds like trees." he spat the table on the ground. ans so barky decisdeed to taste the sumbals' hnaldes. he took a bite. "chocolate!" and then he ate my retainers. Late concertee srtructue.

saxooplenoe of the gynnamesiunm

and with thst, the dog slipped into the room. Maxine knew what he had to do..... for soxophon was THE NEIL's only weakness....

TOO BE COCNTONTNUED!

the chupacabra winds up at a furry convention

yet he didnt know how he got there. he may have taken the wrong bus last night. bu t then! and there, in the crowd. he sees it so clearly. soemone dressed as a goat.

hlilraity ensus

and after the aforementioned events, the chupacabra wakes up in a tijuana dumpster with a barbie up his arse

and he had a freaking huge hangover. "damn those everyday low prices! i'll never buy a barbie again." he decalered, removing the barbie, snd throwing it toh the neartest appple tree. ALAS, ALAn!! now the barcle is stuck! whateverr. ""bhuu?" and his friends was right nesxt to him in that veryb dumpster. ""Where there is illusion, learning cannot thrive." bhuu said calmly, leding the chupacrapra to think that bhuu was still in the midst of an ongoing bender, but bhuu has a point. but ALAS, BHUU! he began to go ona tangent. oh dera... "Nature is a constant. You and I are warriors of the stratosphere. Consciousness consists of supercharged waveforms of quantum energy. “Quantum” means a condensing of the perennial. Shiva will align us with astral spacetime. It is time to take gratitude to the next level. We must heal ourselves and bless others." having enough of bhuu's LSD-induced buhhsit, the chupacapran takes the barbie and shoved it in his nostril. "no!" the chupacabra cries. thank god for that barbie, because that finally brought an end to bhuu's buhhsit. chupa knew that bhuu was gonna get some more shrooms anyway. "Without purpose, one cannot self-actualize....." bhuu mumles to himself as he walks out the dumbster. after all, it's just another sunday morning in tijuana!

and after the aforementioned events, the chupacabra wakes up in a tijuana dumpster with a barbie up his arse, PART TWO!!

The words "The dreamtime is calling to you via sub-atomic particles. Can you hear it?" kept echoing in chupa's head. ad so he tookk a bite of the sharpie. and he said to no one in particlular (no one was around), "We must take a stand against bondage, for we are at a crossroads of insight and turbulence." meanwhile, bhuu was back at the dumpster, Special K in hand and playing Butthole Surfers. "god damnit, bhuu." if bhuu keeps wasting our money on utter shite, how are we gonna get back to Houston?

An then chupa realized. Oh shit. That was an expired sharpie. The voices from the clouds came soon afetr this realization. "Nothing is impossible. Transcendence is a constant. Nothing is impossible. Transcendence is a constant. Nothing is impossible. Transcendence is a constant. Nothing is impossible......" Oh deaer... He looked down at the sharpie, but the hallucinations kicked in. And then The Chupacabra felt a craving for goats. He looked to the left. A sinlgle goat on the main road, and the goat was looking directly at him.

hlilraity ensus

meanwhile in seattle, the dogs roam.

suddenly, the spiders dscend from the ceiling. oh deaer! eh... whtaeverr. the dogs still donnot care though. theyre outside.

and the dogs listen to grunge music loudly (hey, it's seattle), talk to sternahregers strangers and drive their cars into lankkes. because they dont care. oh deer. their mothers disaprroove.

LUMBER BUMBER!!!!!!!

LUMBER BUMBER!!!!!!! named his dog "Kitty", and his cat "Fido".
TOO BE COCNTONTNUED!

denmark has fallenn....,

the communist cacti and the cross-eyed catfish have infitrated the danes. humanity has not much time now...

haha LAWn FlAMINGos!!!!!!!

bhuu's ultamite tangent

"Yes, it is possible to shatter the things that can sabotage us, but not without love on our side. We can no longer afford to live with ego. You may be ruled by turbulence without realizing it. Do not let it disrupt the richness of your story. Transcendence is the healing of divinity, and of us. You and I are spiritual brothers and sisters of the quantum matrix. We exist as a resonance cascade. This story never ends. Humankind has nothing to lose. We are in the midst of an enlightened flowering of chi that will become our stepping-stone to the quantum cycle itself. Our conversations with other dreamweavers have led to a blossoming of hyper-dynamic consciousness. To walk the story is to become one with it. Shakti will give us access to unrestricted stardust. Will is the driver of science. Nothing is impossible. The multiverse is beaming with vibrations. Delusion is born in the gap where potential has been excluded. Knowledge is a constant. Ecstasy requires exploration. This life is nothing short of a flowering paradigm shift of advanced nature. Imagine an awakening of what could be. We are being called to explore the dreamtime itself as an interface between flow and wonder. It is in unfolding that we are reborn. You must take a stand against greed. Only an entity of the universe may reveal this lightning bolt of faith. You may be ruled by bondage without realizing it. Do not let it destroy the birth of your quest. It can be difficult to know where to begin. Have you found your journey? Indigo Child, look within and develop yourself. Although you may not realize it, you are divine."

rats n roaches??????

teb fernch unicirn army apporoaches! ALAS ALAN!!! whstever shall we do????? this is what we do!

• music*
• chaka chaka chaka chaka chaka cha cha cha! chaka chaka chaka chaka chaka cha cha cha! chaka chaka chaka chaka chaka cha cha cha! chaka chka, chaka chka, chka cha chka*

the (red) two of hearts, oh i need it, i need it

nightsause called for fried kekelp. when it arrived, there was ansnail nxt to it. oh dear. and then the snail beared itfangs and ATE the kekelp!/? WOW!!!!1

blarg salez da seven seez

the hands on th clock spin round n rounf. never stiopping, never chanignt. always in a cycle, and nothing can stop it. anda s the hands move and twirl round and round, tine goes on and the sonfgs get sadder. untoil the day comes when there are no more empty hours, only you laying on the edge of time. and as you feel yourself getting colder, you'll wonder if it was all wotrth it.

maybe it was.

hmmm polygonzzzz..... narf narf narf

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TOO BE COCNTONTNUED!

soo alsoe

• the ogogle teabrle edition
• the workd salead edition