Memoirs of Illogy

From Illogicopedia
Jump to: navigation, search

Je me souviens.

Long ago, when I was isolated among my fellow Finnish speakers with no ability, permit nor will, I lived in an oligarchic apartheid state of funniness known as Sweatpedia. Its name represents the quality of jokes there, as to be funny you need to break a sweat. There I made myself known as the dear child with numerous names. I operated under the pseudonym Jak Ruzzell to avoid being purged by its bureaucracy, the then-leaders of Sweatpedia: J.A.T, Hjassan, Washfluff and Luoma. I was welcomed by a member of the lower echelon of the leading party whose name was Meteor. It turns out it was his final deed, as he departed into greener pastures and a land of illogic led by an anarchist fox emperor, citizen B14. However, I had no idea of such a place yet.

I made a name of myself by creating a game known as Army Test. It is still unfinished even after all these years. However, it became a valued contraption as the party reviewed it and found it useful for training the Sweatpedian Defense Force. The greener pastures of illogic were still naught but a mystery to me. I became a politician, a drug boy... even a board game and an Italian fascist leader, even though Sweatpedia's leadership was beyond me.

Once I finally gathered my courage to enter the paradise, I was amazed. Its name was Beepedia. Oh, how I loved it! After a long history of thousand edits, I became its leader and executed my master plan for leadership: usurpation! That's right, I usurped the power from the anarchist fox emperor, and started destroying Beepedia in a craze of chaos. Being the agent of chaos that I am, the death and destruction was put to halt by Woland, a neighboring state led by Meteor. Having my throne firebombed, I became the lowest of the low, but managed to redeem myself by removing a rivaling usurper called Frogman.

Ahh, those were the days. It has been a while since I've returned to Sweatpedia. Once I returned, everything had changed: apparently Luoma was inspired by my treasonous actions and attempted a usurpation at Sweatpedia. Now, the bureaucracy has changed quite a bit. Beepedia had also been deserted. Now I only have this. Aid Epoc Igolli. Nothing more, nothing less.

Dema. Dema nonsense. Ebdo Mihemed the Uncle of Paintbrushes, watches the refrigerators fall. Yanyan. Ehan.

Green beans. A garden door. Painted in an awful shade of green. Butter, bread and green cheese - who couldn't say this wasn't a real freeze.

Wehsel! Di mantus merridus na bordgeal. Doric Ionic Corinthian non-Scots purpose.

Thirty years later, the Maltese Squadron of Cant Leadership, equipped us with the right tools to succeed Testostereich. It was boring. It was annoying. But even through the hardships, through the difficulties and through the stoats, we kept it on.