Noodles?

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Noodles?

Why, of course, noodles. What would make you expect anything different? This is noodle day, after all - isn't it?

Yes, but on noodle day, we do not eat noodles. I thought everyone knew that. Noodle day is for pineapples, the antithesis of noodles; we eat pineapples and shun noodles. Eating noodles on noodle day is a sin!

A -- a sin? No one told me that. The rules say that noodle day is the day for celebrating noodles. I always follow the rules. I thought one could survive here by following the rules, as one can elsewhere. Are you telling me that the rules are not true, or that they do not matter?

No, no, that's not it at all! Of course they are true, and of course they matter. How could you think otherwise? No, no, I don't want to know; I have no desire to understand how your twisted, rotten mind works.

But... I don't understand. You say the rules are true and they are respected, but you do not follow them; you do the very opposite. I should think an administrator, of all people, would follow the rules, or at the very least be able to explain them properly. I take it I am wrong in this assessment, but I do not understand why.

Clearly you do not know how to read the rules. Noodles are not noodles. Pineapples are not pineapples. Have you no knowledge of dancing? Verily, this art is the one that will assist you in this crisis of your diseased mind and your disruption of the festivals. This is the seventeenth, nay, the thirty-fourth time you have caused such a disruption. Noodles! Noodles, indeed! The last time it was melons, and those were just as disruptive. If you could not find the correct type of melons, you should not have brought any at all!

You are making no sense. What on earth could it possibly mean for noodles to not be noodles, pineapples to not be pineapples, and dancing -- what might that have to do with noodles? Nothing, I should think, nothing at all. No one else has accused me of disruption; that is, I believe, far too severe a word, as I am only trying to help you to fix your rampant, overgrown collection of weeds. I did not know my melons were incorrect. The instructions claimed that honeydew melons were required, and I brought honeydew melons, indeed I did, I can assure you. The logs speak truth.

Have you not listened to anything I said? Kindly get those accursed noodles out of my sight. If you do not do it at once, you will be thrown into the pit of eternal fire!