Ranking Restaurants Part 1 Cause Illogicopedia Won't Let Me Make Long Articles

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Today we're gonna be ranking five restaurants because Illogicopedia won't let me save long articles. First, we'll start with the worst restaurants.

Cook-Out[edit | edit source]

I cannot think of a single person who unironically likes Cook-Out. The hotdogs are almost always burnt, the hamburger patties are rubbery, and the Cheerwine is 80% wine and 0% cheer. The only good thing to get from here is the Oreo Milkshake.

TGI Fridays[edit | edit source]

TGI Fridays, where do I begin? First of all, the patties taste like alien meat.[1] Second of all, it doesn't even do anything for you if you order it on a Friday. Third, it just isn't good in general.

Hardee's[edit | edit source]

Okay, first of all... HARDEEZ NUTS! Second of all, this restaurant isn't that good.

Sonic[edit | edit source]

Okay, the food isn't that bad, but for a restaurant called Sonic, you'd expect them to go fast. Every time I order there, I end up waiting 69 minutes and 420 milliseconds just for a burger and a few nuggets. The nuggets aren't even good. They're just a bit rubbery and squishy.

Long John Silvers[edit | edit source]

If I searched up the amount of people that eat at Long John Silvers, I would get -1. Be honest, nobody goes here. Nobody likes this thing. This can't even be qualified as a restaurant. It's just an obstacle to get to the actual good restaurants like Applebee's and Texas Roadhouse.[2]

  1. NOT THAT I'D KNOW WHAT ALIEN MEAT TASTES LIKE-
  2. Texas Roadhouse unironically slaps. Prove me wrong right fricking now.