Squidward

Squidward at Nishville 2015. Nishville is a really weird festival.

Squidward Tentacles, most commonly referred to as Squidward, is the most famous clarinet player. He is known for his immense talent and his big penis-like nose. He does not wear pants. He also might be gay .

Career

Clarinet player

Squidward is a professional clarinet player. He is also a professional Minge Pickle. There is a rumor that once he made a clarinet out of a pickle and then ISO came to his house and smashed him with his ban hammer. Anyway, the notable works of Squidward in this field of art are: "Twinkle Twinkle Little Star, but your ears are bleeding", "3 times 2 is 5" and "Fnurdle". He has also been a guest author on an album of Death Grips, and a few of his tracks were remixed by deadmau5 and Aphex Twin.

Painter

Squidward is known for his self-portraits. His most famous work is "Bold and Brash", also known as "Belongs in the Trash". He has a room full of his self-portraits. That room is the toilet.

Cashier

Squidward is working as a cashier in a local copy of McDonalds. There is not much to be said, except the fact that he won "The Worst Cashier Award" 15 times in a row. His streak was broken in 2021, when the local Walmart cashier and ex-teacher Jimbo Wales. Jimbo, Jimbo!

S̵̹̿̎̕Ë̴̦̪͔͈̬͔̗́̏͐͒̓̐̕͠ͅR̴̠͕̎͌̿͑̎͝͠͝Ì̸̪͉̹̮̟̰̼̜̀͌̂̃̀̌̕A̵̤̅̈́̎L̴̨̲̞͑͐͌͐͌̌̅ ̴̨̙͊̀͊K̴̤͖̭͉̙͕̟̝͒̽I̷̢̜̮̦͋̐͑̑̄̍́L̴̢̛̗̞͎̲̮̰̮͊̀͊́̓̓̚Ļ̴̺̿͆̍̍̋Ê̷͙̲̬̌Ŗ̴̧̠̱͓͔̉̈̈́͜

Ş̴̞̠̮̋͐̋̆Q̷̨͇̖̿̐͜U̵͇̺̍̋̓̌͌̈͘͝I̴͕͓̅D̵̬̫̱͖̭̘͔̏́̄W̶̫̝̯̪̅̎Ȃ̷̡̘̯͔̻̪̈̐͂͆̈R̶͉͑̿͋͊̅͌̕Ḑ̴̜͎̰̙͇̓̄͘͠ͅ ̷̨̛̰̮̪̀̑K̵̻̖̽͘N̵̨̙̫͔͎͔̿̓́͊͂͂̚Ơ̵͉̠͓̮̹̼͛̿̒̅̋̕͝ͅŴ̷̧̛͙̰̦͉̺̆S̶̨͈̤̗͚͖͚̠̋͛͆̚ ̸̪̘̈́̋W̷͓̹͉̜͍͆̀͜Ȟ̵̪̭͔̑͆̊̽Ẹ̵͔̜͗̎͋̄R̴̺̯̓ͅĘ̶̼͉͎̬̰̟͉̽̆̈̓͑̕͝ ̵̩͕̪̼͎̱̒̉̓̌D̶̫̩̞͇̪̱̖̺͝O̶̤̝͖̔ ̸̦̽͋̊̄̚ͅỶ̸̛͍̼͙̣̝̽͂̓͘͠Ö̸͔̼͉͇̥́́͋̽̔Ṵ̵͖̝̳̙̄̅̔̄͝ ̷̡͇̍̾̀͊̓L̸̨͕̻͉̠̻̭͈͌̉̄̈́͊͐͝Ï̷̲͉̠̻͚̖͈V̵̤̺͎̦̗̠̖͛͆͜Ę̵̨̤͖͈̜̅̃̍̏̚͜͝.̸̛͗͑̈́̈́͜ ̷̡͔̲̬̝͍̃̽̿͜Ẅ̶̰͇͇́̅͘Ǎ̵͙͆̈́̍͘T̴͎̳͎̊̿̀͘͘C̵̡̥͚̱̄̾̊̈͘͜H̵͓̙̣̟̬̃͂̈́̅̀͠ ̴̡͓̋̋̔̀͑́͐Ṍ̸̧̨̳͕̤̼̹͉Ṳ̴͕̂̈̽̔̈́́̄T̴̲̝̹͚̦̺̺͆̾̿͛̐̆ͅ.̴̢͍̘̼̞̺̔ ̴̛͇̟̹̈̑̂͆O̶̖̓͌͒͝͝͠R̴̰̼̪̤̟̙̻̎̎̉̽̅̈́̉͑ ̴̧̡̡̺͓͈͕̽̀͑͒̐̀̽͝E̶̳̥̎̿̽͋L̴͙̮̺͛͝Ş̸̪͈̦̬̒̇͊̽̐Ẹ̸̗̓͑̓͗͐́ͅ ̵̳̻̖͙̗̰͂͗̕͘͝ͅH̸̨̺͉̼̥̠͎͐̒Ȅ̶̫͓͎̻͚̩͎̈́̕'̸̥̬̿̕S̵̡̢̳͉̝̓͋̉̈́͌̕͜ ̷̢̩͈͎̎͐͋̓̚͜͝G̷̳̹̜̖̫͖̐̉̂̽͛́̕ͅÓ̵̜̹͙̳̟̔̕͜Į̵̛͈̽̈́̌̈̌̓͘N̶̹̩͙͙͓͖̭̍Ĝ̶̳̤͓ ̶̛̞̱̺̘͎̉͐Ţ̵̡̝̝̇͛͂̋̓̈́̏O̴̡̟̼̻̪͎̱̊̈́̓͛̓̒̀ ̵̪͓̺͔̖̫̥̦̾͑̏͐S̵̗̤̻̟͙̑́̂̆͝ͅL̴̩͚̻̯̿̂͋̒̈́͂̕A̸̙̘͖̤̞͖͎̓̉͜Ȗ̵̖̝̩͍̬͔̩̗͒̎͝G̶̡͕̗̯̓́͋͆͐̌͂̚͜H̷̢͕̹̯̤̤͈͛̀͊̚̕͠͠ͅT̷͔͌E̶̡͍̰͒̕Ṙ̶̟̇͗́́̐ ̵̨̽̎̎͗̀Ÿ̸̧̠̥͖͓́̌͐ͅO̶̬͓͎͔̬̪̊͑̍͊͠ͅÙ̴̞͓̖͈̈̎͒̓̑̇͘ ̶̝̝̲̙͎̣̱̚͜L̴̡̜͕̮̗͍͇̉͋̔̀̈̒͛̕Ì̶͈̙Ķ̷̳̖̱͎͋̈́̍̾Ě̸̟̘̯̼̑̈́͑̋̓͝ ̸̺̈́̔̓́̍̕A̴̻̞̠͔̐ͅͅ ̸̨̼͚̪̥̣̺͖̀̍͛́̀͝͝P̴͉̪̲̫͈̮̒I̴̥͎͂͒̊̔̿͐͠G̴̡̗͖̔̒̃͘.̷̛̻̈́͂̿̽͝