The Mess

From Illogicopedia
Jump to navigation Jump to search

The Waitress Came Up to the Table.

Two Men Sat at the Table.

She said to one man, "Welcome to the Restaurant!" She turned to the other man. "My name is Tiffani, I'll be serving you today!"

She looked at the other man first, the second man thought, Why did she do that? Do I not look Confident Enough?

To show his confidence, he let out a manly bellow and punched her.


But the other people in the restaurant saw him throw the punch.

They looked at him in alarm.

"Oh no, they think I'm crazy," he thought, "they don't like me!"

He decided to try to make them like him.

"JUST FOOLING AROUND WITH THE WAITRESS HERE, YOU KNOW HOW IT IS!!!" He screamed, a grin contorting his face.


Tiffani lay Sprawled upon the Floor.

The man sat back down. His friend looked exasperated.

"You know what your problem is?" said his friend, "You're like people who use the phrase 'sail the seven seas.' Since when are there seven seas? All there is is ocean. It's just water. Those 'seven seas' are us, feebly drawing lines on the world around us in an attempt to make it all controllable or understandable."

"What does that have to do with punching a waitress?"



Later that Evening, Tiffani Stood Up.

I Think the Police came.