The Title of this Article Is NOT Ambiguous in ANY WAY!!!

From Illogicopedia
Jump to navigation Jump to search

The other day, my teacher got me thinking about ambiguity. Of course, it wasn't anything he SAID that set me on a philosophical journey, it was more the fact that he existed and was standing in front of me. You see, I was exhausted. The mundane nature of his class tended to exhaust me.

And suddenly I noticed how much he resembled an empty room. Actually, resembled doesn't do justice to this.

I was squinting at him and for one disorientingly strange moment, I thought he WAS an empty room. Everything about him. His eyes were open doors revealing the deserted block inside.

His words all blended into one monotonous noise. Like the careful buzzing of a refrigerator or the patient humming of a ceiling fan waiting for some human beings to show up.

SOMETIMEs I wonder if our inanimate objects observe us. If they laugh at the human race. Ever wonder about your dishwasher?

We went to a parade on the second day, it was a small parade, but no rooftops. A local beauty queen was carried on the back of an old woman down the street as a crowd cheered.

The beauty queen flashed the crowd obligingly. Occasionally she leaned over to throw up in the streets. All the men adored her body. She was twelve.

Every night she got home, looked herself in the mirror, and wondered why she had let herself become a willing puppet of a society that glorified perfection when perfection doesn't really exist. She wondered. Then she took some pills and made all those bad thoughts go away.

She was emptying her room. You see, rooms are limited in space, but landfills aren't. That was what she had discovered. As she burned her mattress. As she set fire to her chair and the glow of it revealed some dust in the corner that she had never before noticed. "I notice now," she said aloud as the crowd cheered loud.

The above is an example of ambiguity. Ambiguity means that something has multiple interpretations. For instance, The sky is blue can be interpreted to mean that the sky is blue in color, or that the sky is sad (the latter interpretation was used once by the Beatles. Or maybe it was AC/DC.)

Everything is ambiguous. All statements are ambiguous, except for nine or ten statements that are not ambiguous in any way.

The title of this article is one of them.