User:Alicia Keys/Phyllis Hyman
“I will always love my dear Archangel Phyllis. However, I am a just God, and largely due to her suicide, I could not righteously give her the glorious crown of High Prophetess. But I forgive her.”
“You know how to rape my ears”
Phyllis the Old School (Autrefois) Singer[edit | edit source]
Phyllis Hyman was the best singer of her time and the best voice of all time, musically. Her Contralto voice graced many stages and still can be heard in recordings. She was even a great whistler. She was a great living singer for about 20 years, until her suicide. Phyllis is remembered by her fans, especially those lucky enough to have heard her live and/or grew up with her music.
The Archangel Phyllis[edit | edit source]
The Most Holy Ancient of Noodles, the FSM, our God, created a wonderful Archangel with an angelic voice in the great soul of Phyllis Hyman. In fact, the Flying Spaghetti Monster had His Sacred Heart set on making Phyllis Hyman the High Prophetess, but could not do so because she failed the test He set forth for her. She had to struggle with Bipolar Disorder. She could have taken a different course, treatment that could have saved her life. She instead risked her precious life. She felt that by taking the proper treatment, she would somehow hinder her creativity as a singer, and may have disliked taking the medication. Even after two suicide attempts, she went on continuing this dangerous course, with the sad and fatal ending in 1995. Consequently, the FSM promoted Alicia Keys to High Prophetess instead. His Noodlyness allowed her to remain an Archangel and blessed her with forgiveness. Most of Phyllis fans have forgiven her,especially after taking the illness that she struggled with into consideration.