User:Readmesoon/Missing People on the Side of Milk Cartons
Every year, desperate, groping old men love to grab innocent children, take them away, and do stuff with them. These kids go missing... but how exactly can they be found? Of all industires, the milk industry decided to take action towards finding these kids. I have no idea why, maybe they are just desperate for more customers nice, good hearted people.
What the milk industry did was get pictures of these cute kids and put them on thye sides of their milk cartons, with interesting facts about the children that could help people indentify them. Ironically, any truly smart kidnapper would most likely make an effort to ensure that no one found the kid.
Real Advertisements[edit | edit source]
These are some real advertisemtns taken from Milk Cartons. Some kids were found, and others were not so lucky. Anyhow, each is supplied with a series of facts and statistics that can help indeitfy the missing kid.
Chester Blanks[edit | edit source]
- Height - 4' 6"
- Hair Colour - Brown
- Eye Colour - Blue
- Last Seen - Yesterday
- Potential Kidnappers - The people who kidnapped him
- Favorite Restaurant - Johnny's Carcinogenic Food
- Least Favorite Colour of Teddy Bear - White
- Blood Type - B+
- Shoe Size - 5
- Wikis Registered On - 0
- Likely Status - Ripped to pieces in a dumpster
- Favorite Sports Team - New York Mets
- Current Location - 345 Sample Lane (Paedophile's Home)
- Shirts Possessed - 13
- Snake Bites - None
- Ear Size - Average
Despite a very in-depth detail, Chester was never found. People checked nearly everywhere, even at the bottom of my old trash can. Gross. His location remains unknown today, and his deranged parents are still looking for him even though he has been gone for fifty-two years.
Susan Notes[edit | edit source]
- Height - Unknown
- Hair Colour - Unknown, maybe brown.
- Eye colour Unknown
- Last Seen - Somewhere
- Potential Kidnappers - Someone
- Cellular Provider - Unknown
Tyler Knott[edit | edit source]
- Height - 1' 1"
- Hair Colour - Bright Pink
- Eye colour - Glowing Red
- Last seen - in my imagination
- Potential Kidnappers - The EvilSnowman, the Illogicopedians, Dancing Dog
- Lightsaber Colour - Blue
- Biggest Fear - The Monsters that live under your bed
- Gender - Unknown
- Mac or PC - Mac
- Hero - Billy Mays
How To Idenitfy a Missing Child[edit | edit source]
Look in your closet. If the kid is in your closet, the kidnapper is most likely you. If not, all hope is lost.