Where is the Internet?

Hold on just one second, where's my Internet icon gone on my desktop? This is weird. It was there just a second ago and now it's gone. What the fork happened? Maybe I should get a geek around here to check out my computer, he'll sort it out!

Beep beep beep beep beep

Hello? Yes is that the geeks? Yes, I'm calling about my Internet icon.

No.

No, not that.

So it might be punishing me, eh? Well why would it do that?

Er... no I am not a member of any pagan sect. Just what are you implying?

Oh really? So if I'm a pagan, the Internet will disappear? Oh, OK. Oh thanks, cheers bye!

Well. That. Seems. Odd. I'm not even a pagan. I just like dressing up in robes and installing a fresh gollem in my pie hole. What's wrong with that, eh?

EVERYTHING!

Eh? Who said that? What?

YOUR GOD!

Right...

I JUST WANTED TO KNOW IF YOUR GOLLEM WAS UP AND RUNNING

Yeah, it is.

WELL, I NEED IT FOR MY CHAIR (not very easy to recline, see?)

Why would you need a Golem for a freakin' chair?

BECAUSE YOU NEED A GREEN, WRINKLY, SHNAP!