Adolf Hitler quotes

“A rabbi, a gypsy, a homosexual, a communist, a black woman, a cigarette smoker, a Slav, a Jehovah's Witness, my bad uncle, a mentally retarded, crippled boy, an Asian, a Democratic Republican, an Inuit, a pygmy, a Socialist and two liberals walk into a bar...”

~ Adolf Hitler's favorite joke

“Have you ever put butter on a Poptart? It's so frigging good!”

~ Adolf Hitler on putting butter on a Poptart

“If we could harness the power of the atom, and the terror of disgusting poopie smells, the war could be over in 3 years.”

~ Adolf Hitler on promised revenge weapons to the people of Germany

“The English hate boogers! Start at once!”

~ Adolf Hitler on the birth of the V3 Snot Rocket

“I was going to call it "My Boobies", but the publisher insisted on "Struggle".”

~ Adolf Hitler on his body image issues

“She was huge! All muscles and bad attitude. I want that spirit in our military.”

~ Adolf Hitler on meeting a Beer Hall butch

Notes for the politically correct

Any article containing Adolf Hitler is horrible by definition. One containing stuff he said (he really did! I swear!) would be at the bottom of that barrel. The PC among you may require clarification as to why a quote is remarkable or funny, and not just racist. When you do tell me I am racist, please refer to specific quotes, so that I might make them even more terrible. Thank you. Staff.