Aeroplane hair

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Planehair, scourge of the four seas

Aeroplane hair develops in mid flight. It is an aeronautic phenomenon that makes a long lock of hair appear behind a commercial airliner. It is hazardous to passengers as it usually gets caught in one of the jets.

In rare cases it is pubic hair which sprouts at alternate angles on the plane's surface. This causes minimum disruption and usually results in little more than an itchy foreskin.


Whenever bearded people sit on a plane, the hair on their face is imported via the wind curration to the shaft of the boiler room where it is flossed into a hairy fuss (similar to that of fairground taffy). It then takes root in the gauge and the cells (spooled by the heavy wind) grow.

External links[edit]

Direct has a webpage on it with no apparent solutions, just photographs of David Cameron with a see-through apron.

Alternatively you could visit the British Airways which has information on how to deal with an on-board hairing.