Aircraft

Aircraft is a children's activity that cheap pre-school teachers bust out when they've spent the crayon fund on booze again.

How to operate an aircraft

The children are given a sheet of magical air paper and told to make the most inventive thing possible with it. They can take as long as they want with it using air crayons, air paints, and as much air glitter as they can get their pudgy little hands on while the teacher supervises from a chair in the corner. Aircraft was initially popular as an activity for children at many nurseries until the great Ofsted inspection of '93, which saw the inspectors strike down upon the teachers great vengeance and furious termination-of-employment notices at their attempt to poison and destroy the sanctity of arts and crafts. A whole buttload of teachers were sacked in the ensuing scandal and suffice to say, aircraft was grounded.