Are diamonds really a girl's best friend?

Are diamonds really a girl's best friend? It's possible! Man's best friends, apart from their right arm, are dogs... or so they say. This makes far more sense than having an inanimate object as a friend due to the lack of hearty conversation. Then again, dogs don't really have much to say in the form of English or any language for that matter, apart from "I need a piss" and "Can I sniff your bumhole?", coming together to form the ultimate answer of "actually, don't worry, I'll just hump your leg".

Now for the ultimate dilemma: finding out which is better. The only way to solve this is by making them do the manliest thing asides from gay sex which is twice as manly as regular sex... by making them fight! I couldn't manage to upload a feature length movie with special effects onto this article... so I'll have to give a running commentary instead!

3.2.1 FIGHT!!!

The dog (Rover in this case) lunges forward... in the wrong direction, the diamond isn't doing much down to the fact that it's an inanimate object....and there's the final bell.

The votes are in and by unanimous decision a humans best friend is... a Dog Made Of Diamonds. BWAAAA!